Some people think giving time to career improvement is more important, others believe giving time to family and friends is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #improvement #friends

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Setting up the right balance between

work

Use synonyms

and family is becoming increasingly popular among young

people

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and has gained much more scholarly attention.

Although

Linking Words

, the effectiveness of the topic is debatable as different

people

Use synonyms

carry different points of view.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence of why both prospects are equally important for good

career

Use synonyms

growth and mental peace. The debate surrounding the topic is most charged in today's world. There is an army of

people

Use synonyms

convinced about giving more time at

work

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than family. They have

also

Linking Words

come up with several arguments.

First

Linking Words

and foremost is, that

career

Use synonyms

improvement can help an individual to have a better life ahead with secured finances.

For

Linking Words

example

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

these days often retire early by working hard and saving enough money for their future expenses. The

second

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significant reason is age,

for

Linking Words

example

Use synonyms

, as we start ageing,

people

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tend to lose their potential to

work

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hard, which makes them believe, that young age should

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

wholeheartedly

Add a missing verb

be wholeheartedly

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dedicated to achieving a well-settled

career

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However

Linking Words

, some protest that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Family and friends should be given more importance than

career

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work

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. They believe that family comes

first

Linking Words

For

Linking Words

example

Use synonyms

, many organizations these days provide options for full time and part-

timetime

Correct your spelling

time time

work

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. So that employees can spend valuable time with their families and friends.

Moreover

Linking Words

, family is important for emotional and mental support as they say "money can't buy happiness". Which makes it clear the family should be prioritized

over

Correct your spelling

overwork

show examples

work

Use synonyms

For

Linking Words

example

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, even after gaining success in business and

work

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, many

businessman

Change to a plural noun

businessmen

show examples

fails to get the happiness they deserve, because of a lack of family love and support. To conclude,

although

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, both sides have merits and concerns, In my opinion, having the right balance between

career

Use synonyms

improvement and maintaining

a good family relationships

Correct the article-noun agreement

good family relationships

a good family relationship

show examples

has several favourable elements that

deserves

Change the verb form

deserve

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attention.

Submitted by upasanasharma.dec on Thu May 19 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

311 words

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Some people think giving time to career improvement is more important, others believe giving time to family and friends is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Prevention is more important than cure. researching and treating disease is very costly, so it is better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contributions to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us longer pay attention to it.to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.