IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?

#people #women #role #men #country’s #police #force #kinds #jobs
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A police or
milatary
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military
 force is a crucial
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working
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woking
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working
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 area for a country.
However
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, there is a discussion about whether it is suitable for both genders, female and male, to take
a
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apply
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responsibility equally, whereas there are
people
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 who believe it is not appropriate for
women
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 to take part in the job.
This
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 essay will examine both viewpoints and give my opinion. There are numerous reasons
of
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apply
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why a particular
gender
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, female, does not fit in the job requiring an ability of strength. The
first
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 of which is that
women
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 might not be able to do
a
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apply
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great decision-making for a specific situation
especially
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,especially
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 an urgent dangerous one owing to the empathy they have toward others. As a
consequences
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consequence
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, the result of how they decide could affect the citizens' life.
For example
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, if a female officer
face
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faces
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 the occasion of
murderer
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a murderer
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 trying to kill a child with a knife, she tends to choose not to kill the guy, while
men
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 would shoot the guy immediately in order to save the
younster
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youngster
.
In contrast
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, some
people
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 say that
a
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apply
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gender
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 should not be a barrier for a person to do the job and the
equallity
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equality
quality
 of every
gender
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 should be raised. The reason in
favor
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favour
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 of the argument is that ladies are
progicient
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proficient
 to do anything as
men
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 do if they are provided
an
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with an
show examples
 opportunity to, in both academic and physical areas.
In addition
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, it is proven that
physical
Correct article usage
the physical
show examples
 ability of
women
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 is avid due to the labour they can give. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some
people
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 who believe it would be better for
men
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 to work in
a
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apply
show examples
military service that
require
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requires
show examples
a
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apply
show examples
strength, in my opinion, I think a
gender
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, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is how
people
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 are born
with
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apply
show examples
should not be a
restrict
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restricted
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 condition because
women
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 are proven to be as good as
men
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 in many prospects.
Submitted by p.poompimmm on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equality
  • stereotypes
  • diversity
  • physical prowess
  • discrimination
  • negotiation skills
  • gender roles
  • morale
  • integrated forces
  • equal opportunities
  • unit cohesion
  • combat effectiveness
  • bias
  • harassment
  • meritocracy
  • transformative
  • empowerment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: