IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
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Nowadays it is quite easy to find
prisoners
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 doing activities including unpaid
community
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work
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.
For instance
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, a book about the influence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
volunteer
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work
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 had been published,
then
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 some people believe that it will be great for
prisoners
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. It is agreed that
prisoners
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 should join unpaid
community
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work
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. Analyzing the
effect
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 of satisfaction for
prisoners
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, as well as a low
claim
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rate
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 after doing
volunteer
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work
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. Doing unpaid
community
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work
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 gives
prisoners
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 better health conditions. It has shown that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
82 per
cent
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 of
prisoners
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 doing
volunteer
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work
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 feel happy and satisfied,
on the contrary
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 only 38 per
cent
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 of
prisoners
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 without any activities by the Japanese government.
Moreover
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,
prisoners
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 do not tend to have a violent activity with others in
prison
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 after the nonprofit
work
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 makes it clear that joining
community
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work
Use synonyms
 for free gives
prisoners
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 better health conditions.
In addition
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 to that,
community
Use synonyms
work
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 will be a good
effect
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 on decreasing the
claim
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rate
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 for
prisoners
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. Some people commit a
claim
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 after leaving
prison
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 even though they took lectures for not doing crucial things in
prison
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.
However
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, a
prison
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gives
Correct pronoun usage
that gives
show examples
 unpaid
community
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work
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 for prisons has a low
claim
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rate
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, 2 per
cent
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, after leaving the
prison
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, compared to 17 per
cent
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 of
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 prisons.
Thus
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 it becomes apparent that
community
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work
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 will be a good
effect
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 on decreasing the
claim
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rate
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 for
prisoners
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. In summary, we discussed the
effect
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 of satisfaction for
prisoners
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, as well as a low
claim
Use synonyms
rate
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 after doing
volunteer
Use synonyms
work
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.
Therefore
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, the idea that
prisoners
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 should do unpaid
community
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work
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 can be supported. After
thorough
Add an article
a thorough
show examples
 analysis of
this
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 subject, it is predicted that if the government use
this
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 theory effectively, our country will succeed in reducing the
claim
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rate
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 and violent activity.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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