IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families. Individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is generally acknowledged in a significant number of countries that fast
food
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replace
Correct subject-verb agreement
replaces
show examples
 traditional
food
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 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
brings disadvantages
on
Change preposition
to
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 families, each person, and society. Regarding
this
Linking Words
, I believe that
such
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 a trend is not always disadvantageous. On the one hand, if
people
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 only eat fast
food
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 rather than traditional
food
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, national identities would be absent since
food
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 is one part of the culture. With all
people
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 eating the same fast
food
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, there would be fewer consumption of traditional
food
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 and
therefore
Linking Words
 tradition would eventually disappear, and along with them, their cultures.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
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 health. Fast
food
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 contains more preservatives and sugar than traditional
food
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. Not only can consumption of high sugary
food
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 brings about
obesity
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, but it may
also
Linking Words
 contribute to other major health issues
such
Linking Words
 as type 2 diabetes.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by OECD, the
obesity
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 rate in Korea where
people
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 prefer to eat traditional
food
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 was about 9%, that in America where
people
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 enjoy eating fast
food
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 was approximately more than 30%. As
example
Correct article usage
the example
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 clearly illustrates, eating fast
food
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instead
Linking Words
 of traditional
food
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 is harmful
for
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to
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 all of the public in the modern era.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 is necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
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 contemporary society. Some
people
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 cannot afford traditional
food
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 since cooking traditional
food
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 requires more amount of time and money compared to fast
food
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. A lot of countries experience a recession and a lack of
food
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. What is more,
people
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 to a certain degree, suffer from
hectic
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a hectic
the hectic
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schedule
Fix the agreement mistake
schedules
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, so some poor and busy families have to eat fast
food
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. If fast
food
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 had not been
provide
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providing
provided
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, they would not have sustained their life.
Hence
Linking Words
, fast
food
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 is indispensable for poor families.
In addition
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 traditional
food
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 is healthier than fast
food
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, fast
food
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 is not the origin of
obesity
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, an experiment conducted by an American science teacher
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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revealed that even though he had eaten only fast
food
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 from Macdonald’s for 90days, he lost
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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weight by 17 kg, and his cholesterol rate decreased as well.
As a result
Linking Words
, eating fast
food
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 is acceptable. In conclusion, while I accept that traditional
food
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 can sometimes be rather important to maintain national identity and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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 lifestyle, there is no doubt that eating fast
food
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 is necessary for some poor
people
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the brief that fast
food
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 causes
obesity
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 is a stigma.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Impact
  • Nutritious
  • Cultural heritage
  • Identity
  • Economic implications
  • Locally sourced
  • Social cohesion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Obesity
  • Heart diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Cultural transmission
  • Convenience
  • Traditional dishes
  • Biodiversity
What to do next:
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