IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.Discuss both views and give your opinion.Write 250 words.

#people #crime #prison #sentences #alternative
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Many
people
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 argue that a good choice to minimize
crime
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 is to give longer
prison
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 sentences.
However
Linking Words
, other
people
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's trust is a better option for reducing
crime
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. Longer
prison
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 is one way
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 teaching a deterrent effect for
people
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 who have criminal behaviour. Because the punishment will make
people
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 can not do anything for their lives.
For example
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,
people
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 who live in
prison
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 can not live with their families, work to get the money, and others. He will feel stressed and depressed, so he will not repeat the mistake. So, I think longer
prison
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 is the best way to reduce
crime
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 in the country. On another side,
prison
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 without
education
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 will not really be effective in creating awareness for criminals. Why did I say that? Because the punishment has to side by side with
education
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 to build guilty feelings and build awareness, so he will not repeat the
crime
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 behaviour again. Especially,
education
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 about social
life
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, religious knowledge and economy creative.
For example
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, narration about social
life
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 can make the
people
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 build social harmony in their social environment. And
then
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 religious knowledge can make
people
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 have a foundation or basic to live. The
last
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 is perspective and skill about economy creative, which have many benefits for continuing their
life
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. Almost all criminal behaviour occur by the economic problem. So, individuals can continue
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living
show examples
life
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 with the new skill. In my conclusion,
besides
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 longer
prison
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 sentences,
education
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 is
also
Linking Words
 needed to the
crime
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 rate in one nation and educate
people
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 to live a decent
life
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.
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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