IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Bringing in foreign workers to fill positions that domestic workers are unwilling to do can cause problems in the local community and should therefore be stopped. To what extent do you agree?

#workers #positions #community
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In recent times, there has been an increase in unemployment
thus
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 companies are opting in hiring overseas
workers
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 to resolve the issue since local
workers
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 do not want to fill in the job vacancies.
However
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, there are some people who believe that bringing in foreign
employees
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 should be put to an end. I believe that employing international
workers
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 should not cease and I will be discussing it. Foreign
employees
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 play an important role in employment across different countries. Hiring them can increase a company's profit margin, as these
employees
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 would get paid in their local currency. It would be significantly lesser than the median pay scale of any developed country.
However
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, since every country has a different pay scale, it is important to still give
employees
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 local pay standards in the organisation's location. By hiring an international workforce, the workplace culture is enhanced.
This
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 is due to personnel sharing different global perspectives and ideas that benefit both the local and overseas
workers
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. Even though there is rich work culture,
this
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 can
also
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 cause issues since personnel may have different approaches to solving problems. Job vacancies in highly-skilled professions can be filled by hiring foreign
workers
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. Some professions, especially in healthcare
such
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 as doctors, registered nurses and medical technicians,
such
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 as doctors, registered nurses and medical technicians are experiencing shortages and with the increasing need for nurses globally,
this
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 can be resolved by hiring overseas
employees
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. In conclusion, employing overseas
workers
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 may have some disadvantages like the difference in pay scale and difference in work perspective. There are some advantages
such
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 as enhanced profit margins and enriching the workplace culture and resolving workforce shortages in highly-skilled professions
hence
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 I strongly agree that hiring international
workers
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 to fill job vacancies should not be stopped.
Submitted by estillorericamae on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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