IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that students who want to go to college after graduating from high school should either spend about one year doing a job to obtain some work experience or travel to enlarge their world vision. Do you agree or disagree?

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Students
Use synonyms
 in general are still very immature when they graduate from high school and have not learned to work on their own (be independent). For example, they are more interested in playing computer games than studying. When graduating from high school, many
students
Use synonyms
 have no idea what careers they will want to follow. They are unfamiliar with the different careers that are available and what certain jobs are about (involve). It means that they study without goals, and by the time they graduate, they often realize that they are not qualified (suited) for the jobs that they would
Linking Words
then
Rephrase
apply
show examples
like to do. The cost of keeping a student at college is high, and we cannot afford to have
students
Use synonyms
 who are immature and have no long-term goals.
For instance
Linking Words
, when a student fails an exam or changes his or her major, a lot of money that could be better used (for more useful purposes) is lost.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 or doing a job (being employed) for a year before going to college will reduce the above-mentioned problems.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 will widen the
students
Use synonyms
’ vision, and they will learn to be independent,
while
Linking Words
 a job will teach them some discipline. In short, I have seen that
more-mature
Correct your spelling
more mature
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 with clear goals will save countries a lot of money and resources. I
therefore
Linking Words
 conclude that
students
Use synonyms
 should travel or work for at least a year before enrolling at a college.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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