IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Buying fashionable clothes is wasteful because people don't need new clothes all the time.Clothing should be bought and used more wisely. Do you agree?

#clothes #people #time
Being fashionable and gorgeous is setting a new trend in the whole worldwide, especially, among youngsters.Youth is getting crazy over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things which
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to look good as well as unique from others.For
this
 purpose, They spent plentiful
money
 on shopping
unnecessary
Change preposition
for unnecessary
show examples
 items which are not required at that particular time.
This
 essay will describe the fact that whether it is wise to
Add an article
the spent
show examples
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount on these kinds of
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
 or not.
To begin
 with,
Countries
Fix capitalization
countries
show examples
 like India are facing
enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 problems due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of funds
such
 as failing to provide full employment and education that hinders the so many benefits which a nation needed for its development.
Also
, it affects the overall progress of the nation. Among these
negatives
Add a comma
,negatives
show examples
 one of the most crucial is poverty due to which a huge number of locals lack some basic
amenties
Correct your spelling
amenities
 that they are unable to feed themselves. While, On the other side, Some people are having too much
money
 to waste on the new clothes that they don't
needed
Change the verb form
need
show examples
. In the race of looking unique and
trendy
Add a comma
,trendy
show examples
 they forget the real situation and spend a large amount of
money
 on wasteful products. In my opinion, Clothing should be bought and used more wisely as in many cases
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, People already have clothes to wear
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a party but they prefer to buy
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 to
attraction
Replace the word
attract
show examples
attention
Correct article usage
the attention
show examples
 of others
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them. In conclusion, I would say that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation should think a while to waste
money
 on these things and rather help the needy person with that
money
.
Moreover
, Parents should
also
 take an
initative
Correct your spelling
initiative
 to
taught
Wrong verb form
teach
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 to their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 on
this
 matter which
furthermore
 helps in
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 time in the economic development and its growth.
Submitted by kuljeetkaur19941 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: