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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Young people are often influenced by their peers. This is called peer group pressure. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #peers #peer #group #pressure
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Youngsters can have some impacts on each other, which is known as peer group pressure.
This
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 essay will explore why I believe the positives of being influenced by
peers
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 are outweighed
by
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the drawbacks.
Firstly
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, the main advantages of
this
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 impact are progression and being motivated. With regard to the former, the young sometimes can be encouraged by their
peers
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 to improve. Simply put, young people usually set goals for their future, ranging from continuing their tertiary education and learning a new language to coping with a new job.
This
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 may motivate other young people to do so to have a brighter future. As for the latter, young
peers
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 can positively influence each other to tackle the failure and keep possessing hope for the future. As most youngsters sometimes talk about their challenges with their
peers
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 and resort to them whenever they face difficulties, they can convince each other to start again and lift their souls.
However
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,
this
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 kind of effect can have some downsides.
First
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, most young
peers
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 tend to assess their performances and improvements with their
peers
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.
As a result
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, if their
peers
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 gain some achievements in their lives, whereas they fail to achieve some, their self-confidence might be shaken.
Second
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, being influenced by their
peers
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, young people are likely to fail to have independent thought lines.
This
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 is because regardless of their capacities, abilities, knowledge, and experiences, they may decide to have the exact decision that their
peers
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 would make for their lives.
Consequently
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, since they do not live according to their own interests and capacities, their lives may not improve as long as they are influenced by each other.
Finally
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, some
peers
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 are bound to lead each other to some offences or become addicted to alcohol or drugs. In conclusion, it seems advisable that the disadvantages of peer group pressure, which are comparing their improvements with each other, having dependent thought lines, and coping with illegal actions outweigh its advantages.
Submitted by aminfijaniielts on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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