Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence.

Nowadays hunting
Change preposition
for the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
opportunities
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more and more challenging and become competitive among
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
show examples
.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undergraduate students are looking for
experiences
in advance before attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tertiary education.
For those
Change preposition
Those
show examples
who learnt with kinesthetic learning have both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
in
classroom
Add an article
the classroom
show examples
and practical
experiences
, they can absorb and have more understanding
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
lectures than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
not gained the field
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
.
However
, a few people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
their opinion that early age experience is highly
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the youth when they make
professional
Add an article
a professional
the professional
show examples
study.
First
of all, gaining the internship experience
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
passion to the youngsters meaning they realize and find out their hobbies
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
an
show examples
early age.
For instance
, the youth who
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
show examples
on reading and learning either language or literature, he or
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can work as
apprentice
Add an article
an apprentice
show examples
teacher in primary school or as a private tutor.
Secondly
, he or she has additional income and it can
be finance
Change the verb form
finance
show examples
his basic necessity or when attending the university they do not need to depend on their parents for
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
.
Finally
, they are working in their early
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sixteen, they can improve their soft
skills
such
as interpersonal
skills
, networking
skills
and how to use effectively the digital
skills
. On the flip side, people have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
that having in advance
experiences
may have
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
influence
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
their long term professional life.
This
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undergraduate student who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
staff in a company ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hesitate to change their career
as
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
business sector after they graduated. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they will not get monthly salary and perks as nine to five jobs.
Additionally
, some quit
to attend
Change the verb form
attending
show examples
university while
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
a great business career
become
Correct word choice
and become
show examples
an entrepreneur.
In
Change preposition
To
show examples
sum up, in my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
it has more benefits when the scholars catch the
experiences
before
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
into the university. If a student
choose
Change the verb form
chooses
show examples
his or her profession as an engineer,
nurses
Fix the agreement mistake
nurse
show examples
or
doctors
Fix the agreement mistake
doctor
show examples
, the practical
experiences
will have the greatest impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their higher learning.
Submitted by Cc on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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