Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence.

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Nowadays hunting
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for the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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job and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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opportunities
is
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are
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more and more challenging and become competitive among
peer
Fix the agreement mistake
peers
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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undergraduate students are looking for
experiences
Use synonyms
in advance before attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tertiary education.
For those
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Those
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who learnt with kinesthetic learning have both
of
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apply
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knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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in
classroom
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the classroom
show examples
and practical
experiences
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, they can absorb and have more understanding
the
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of the
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lectures than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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not gained the field
Use synonyms
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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.
However
Linking Words
, a few people
has
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have
show examples
their opinion that early age experience is highly
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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to
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apply
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the youth when they make
professional
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a professional
the professional
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study.
First
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of all, gaining the internship experience
provide
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provides
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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passion to the youngsters meaning they realize and find out their hobbies
in
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at
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their
Change the word
an
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early age.
For instance
Linking Words
, the youth who
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
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on reading and learning either language or literature, he or
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can work as
apprentice
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an apprentice
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teacher in primary school or as a private tutor.
Secondly
Linking Words
, he or she has additional income and it can
be finance
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finance
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his basic necessity or when attending the university they do not need to depend on their parents for
financial
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the financial
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matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, they are working in their early
of
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apply
show examples
sixteen, they can improve their soft
skills
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as interpersonal
skills
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, networking
skills
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and how to use effectively the digital
skills
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. On the flip side, people have
different
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a different
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perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
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that having in advance
experiences
Use synonyms
may have
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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influence
at
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on
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their long term professional life.
This
Linking Words
mean
Change the verb form
means
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that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undergraduate student who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
staff in a company ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hesitate to change their career
as
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in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
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business sector after they graduated. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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they will not get monthly salary and perks as nine to five jobs.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some quit
to attend
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attending
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university while
have
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having
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a great business career
become
Correct word choice
and become
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an entrepreneur.
In
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To
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sum up, in my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
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it has more benefits when the scholars catch the
experiences
Use synonyms
before
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
into the university. If a student
choose
Change the verb form
chooses
show examples
his or her profession as an engineer,
nurses
Fix the agreement mistake
nurse
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or
doctors
Fix the agreement mistake
doctor
show examples
, the practical
experiences
Use synonyms
will have the greatest impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their higher learning.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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