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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #job #income #life #work
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Going to
work
 not only brings us earnings
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
it
also
 helps us to improve our social life.
First
 and foremost, you cannot
work
 in a major company by yourself because we need numerous people to maintain a company with multiple positions.
Therefore
, building relationships with your co-workers is needed to support you in different aspects of
work
.
For example
, if you have a project with your team, and to have higher-quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
work
, all members will support each other with their strengths,
thus
, you can gain your skills by learning from others' experiences.
Moreover
, if you decide to
work
 alone in a company, your
work
 performance will decrease as you do not have the chance to improve your expertise because it is usually learned from other employees.
Consequently
,
this
 means it might take you a large amount of time to finish your
work
, which could lead
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to bad mental health.
However
, developing social life with people you
work
 with
also
 brings a few disadvantages. If you are too close to your co-workers, your productivity of
work
 will not be effective. Because you are interrupted by other things outside of
work
such
 as small talk, going to the cinema or cafe,.. while working with your partners and
this
 would be pretty time consuming to finish your
work
 on time.
Furthermore
, I have to admit that having conflicts in an association is inevitable. When numerous people
work
 together, many problems happen on a daily basis, which is understandable as companies have competitive environments, like envy, abuse,
dissenting
Correct word choice
and dissenting
show examples
 opinions,...
As a result
, these make the working environment more intense and uncomfortable for everyone.
Submitted by phuongank1511 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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