IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #art #children #school #waste #time
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Everything we encounter in
this
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 world
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 shape from just a piece of paper in the form of drawings. Some people consider
arts
Use synonyms
 as an obligatory
subject
Use synonyms
 but
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 are not in the favour of
this
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 idea. I would agree to keep
arts
Use synonyms
 in the schools but as an additional
subject
Use synonyms
. To put forward the positive sides of Fine
Arts
Use synonyms
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
, I would like to mention that it helps to increase
dedrities
Correct your spelling
dendrites
densities
 in
brain
Add an article
the brain
show examples
 with the help of increased creativity which would indirectly
improves
Change the verb form
improve
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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brain functionality.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, the course can provide an
opportuinty
Correct your spelling
opportunity
of
Change preposition
for
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relaxed
Correct article usage
a relaxed
show examples
 time
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 students. They can keep on creating designs without having much burden on their brains. But there are opposite views
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
subject
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 as well.
Although
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,
arts
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 can be used as a medium to enhance creativity
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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many people would consider it as a
wasteage
Correct your spelling
waste
wastage
 of time because making drawings does not have any connection with
eiither
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either
 theoretical or practical knowledge. Majorly parents want their children to study the core
subjects
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 of their domain and excel at them rather
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then
Replace the word
than
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 engaging themselves
at
Change preposition
in
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 the work which may not help them to build their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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. Another point in the same direction can be supported by the fact that our brain always wants to be in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 comfortable position, and students, most often, take
this
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 fact to
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 of their advantage. They would keep themselves busy with the easy
subjects
Use synonyms
 like
Arts
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, so that they would not have to struggle with a bit difficult courses
such
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 as Science, Maths. My opinion is not based on either
sides
Change to a singular noun
side
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 of the discussion. The
institues
Correct your spelling
institutes
 should consider
arts
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 to be taught in the schools but not as
a mandatory
Correct the article-noun agreement
mandatory subjects
a mandatory subject
show examples
subjects
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.
This
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 would not only help in enhancing the cognitive skills of the learners but
also
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 give them enough time to
deals
Wrong verb form
deal
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 with crucial
subjects
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. To conclude,
arts
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 should not be recognised with an idea of
unrequired
Add an article
the unrequired
an unrequired
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
 but it should be treated as an additional option for the holistic growth of the upcoming leaders.
Submitted by Mannpreet Kaur on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
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