IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Grades (marks) encourage students to learn. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#grades #marks #students #support
One can not deny the fact that achievement of something motivates one to do more all the time
therefore
 I highly agree that getting higher
grades
 at
school
 is a motivation to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
.
First
 of all, we all have witnessed how parents used to be happy with our high scores at
school
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
encouraged us to
impressive
Replace the word
impress
show examples
 them with even a huge improvement,
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 children that are getting higher
grades
 at
school
 have high
self esteem
Add a hyphen
self-esteem
show examples
 compared to the ones with low
grades
 because of their known achievements so that means it helps to improve their
leaning
Correct your spelling
learning
show examples
 process.
On the other hand
 , it is undeniable that
school
 can be hectic and stressfully but when these children work hard and get higher
grades
then
 they must be rewarded for their good work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
so that in future they will take
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 extra mile in order to get impressive results
then
 be awarded again.
For example
, when l was in high
school
 , I remember my mother buying me a laptop because l had done great at
school
, and that has been my motivation since
then
 that I should win in
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 I do,
moreover
 l do all the hard work nowadays at the back of my mind having an award . To sum up, I agree that good results are a jump starter to the learners, with
obvious
Add an article
the obvious
show examples
 support of their parents and teachers, additional, these pupils need to do extra studies and lesson.
Submitted by Kally199226 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: