IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #host #event #events
Nowadays, many
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 can earn lots of
money
 from tourism, and global
sports
events
 can bring people and
money
 to the
host
countries
.
Moreover
, some
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
 from many
countries
 want to be a
host
 of international
sports
events
.
However
, some population thinks that the
countries
 which are the
host
 of international
sports
events
 will
cause
 more
problems
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 being the
host
. In the following paragraphs, the supportive reasons for each idea will be outlined in detail. The
countries
 which are the
host
 of global
sports
events
 will have many
problems
 from open their
countries
 to attract the
tourists
. Most of the reasons come from cultural diversities and different laws of each country which can
cause
 small
problems
 to crimes, like a word more people more
problems
.
Moreover
, the
host
countries
 will spend a lot of
money
 on
sports
stadiums
Change the noun form
stadium
show examples
 development and the buildings that can attract
tourists
.
However
, the
host
countries
 of global
sports
events
 can earn lots of
money
 from
tourists
 that come for global
sports
events
 because it is
international
Add an article
an international
show examples
 event which can attract
tourists
 all over the world to travel to their
countries
.
In addition
, the
money
 that spends on
sports
stadiums
Change the noun form
stadium
show examples
 development and attractive buildings will be upgraded
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 city another step. In conclusion, which
countries
 can be the
host
 of global
sports
events
 can
cause
 many
problems
 from opening their
countries
 to attract more people, but they can earn lots of
money
 from
tourists
 and cities will be upgraded. The
countries
 that have the chance to be the
host
 of international
sports
events
 should accept it because the
events
 will
cause
 more benefits than
problems
.
Submitted by detch2543 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: