Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?
Nowadays, there are lots of
parents
who spoil their children
in different ways. From my perspective, it is not a good way for cultivating
Change preposition
to cultivate
children
, and this
educational pattern will lead to some negative impacts when their children
become adults in the future.
This
is not a good way to cultivate children
, and there are several reasons in my opinion. Firstly
, some requirements from children
are headstrong because they do not have enough recognization
of the worldwide resource scarcity. Correct your spelling
recognition
For example
, If parents
buy what they want to meet their children
, which
will make them feel that everything is easy to get, and they will not cherish what they have Correct pronoun usage
it
and
even result in waste. Correct word choice
apply
Secondly
, providing what children
want with no restriction will make them think they do not need any effort if they want to get something. Finally
, most children
do not establish a healthy understanding of the laws and ethics so they are easy to do something that is
illegal and unallowed, such
as stealing wallets and bullying their classmates.
Some negative consequences could be caused by such
an educational method when their children
grow up, which could be defined as two aspects, poor self-dependence and the crime risks. Because they are used to depending on their parents
, they may not have the ability to live alone, especially when they have to make money by themselves and do housework. More importantly, if some children
do some illegal things but their parents
do not punish them seriously, they are inclined to do those things again. In the future, they may go to prison.
To conclude
, excessively meeting children
's needs in both material and behavioural aspects is a bad and irresponsible way to raise children
. And it will cause severe consequences when they become adults.Submitted by mingxin.li on
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task response
In your essay, you have addressed the topic and provided reasons why spoiling children is not a good way to raise them. However, the response lacks depth and elaboration on particular points. Make sure to expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, there are some areas where coherence and cohesion could be improved. Try to use transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively and ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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