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Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

#parents #children #consequences #style
Nowadays, there are lots of
parents
 who spoil their
children
 in different ways. From my perspective, it is not a good way
for cultivating
Change preposition
to cultivate
show examples
children
, and
this
 educational pattern will lead to some negative impacts when their
children
 become adults in the future.
This
 is not a good way to cultivate
children
, and there are several reasons in my opinion.
Firstly
, some requirements from
children
 are headstrong because they do not have enough
recognization
Correct your spelling
recognition
show examples
 of the worldwide resource scarcity.
For example
, If
parents
 buy what they want to meet their
children
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 will make them feel that everything is easy to get, and they will not cherish what they have
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
even result in waste.
Secondly
, providing what
children
 want with no restriction will make them think they do not need any effort if they want to get something.
Finally
, most
children
 do not establish a healthy understanding of the laws and ethics so they are easy to do something
that is
 illegal and unallowed,
such
 as stealing wallets and bullying their classmates. Some negative consequences could be caused by
such
 an educational method when their
children
 grow up, which could be defined as two aspects, poor self-dependence and the crime risks. Because they are used to depending on their
parents
, they may not have the ability to live alone, especially when they have to make money by themselves and do housework. More importantly, if some
children
 do some illegal things but their
parents
 do not punish them seriously, they are inclined to do those things again. In the future, they may go to prison.
To conclude
, excessively meeting
children
's needs in both material and behavioural aspects is a bad and irresponsible way to raise
children
. And it will cause severe consequences when they become adults.
Submitted by mingxin.li on

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task response
In your essay, you have addressed the topic and provided reasons why spoiling children is not a good way to raise them. However, the response lacks depth and elaboration on particular points. Make sure to expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, there are some areas where coherence and cohesion could be improved. Try to use transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively and ensure a smoother flow between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgent
  • entitlement
  • discipline
  • responsibility
  • nurturing
  • self-reliance
  • adversity
  • autonomy
  • validation
  • dependence
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