IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
Different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of industries
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 different
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
job
 skills
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
. What
employers
 can ask people while interviewing will vary from industry to
insdustry
Correct your spelling
industry
. Most common
questions
 asked by
employers
 are about the person's
insterests
Correct your spelling
interests
interest
 and hobbies. For the people who
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to think that
this
 information is irrelevant and shall not be asked,
is maybe
Correct your spelling
it may be
show examples
 because
this
 information is not important for the
company
, field or industry they are applying for
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in it. For eg, if a
company
 wants a finance manager, it doesn't matter what are his interests and hobbies. Companies
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 the
job
 to be done on time, properly and without any mishaps. So the
employers
 should ask relevant
questions
 which are related to their
job
 description. Now, in the favor of people for whom personal information is relevant and
useful
Add a comma
,useful
show examples
 there can be many reasons.
For example
, companies which are at
high security
Add a hyphen
high-security
show examples
 risks
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 background checks when hiring and while asking these
questions
 they want to check whether
this
 person is lying or saying the truth. If a person is not being honest about his personal life or lying about his
martial
Correct your spelling
marital
show examples
 status
then
 it raises
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 red flag for these
employers
. So, we can conclude that it may vary from
company
 to
company
 what they want in their employee and
questions
 will reflect the same. In my opinion, most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 these personal
questions
 are asked to make the employee more comfortable before proceeding to ask other
questions
.
Submitted by w.asay2222 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: