IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is believed that starting early and maintaining a
job
Use synonyms
 could help
people
Use synonyms
 achieve their career expectations. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 thought,
however
Linking Words
, I think that switching jobs can gain
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction, too.
Use synonyms
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, having an early
job
Use synonyms
 might be easier for
employers
Use synonyms
 to earn a high salary and promote
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their career.
This
Linking Words
 is because those
people
Use synonyms
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 hard in the same
company
Use synonyms
 for a long time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, long-term workers can have a great chance to gain more experience and knowledge in their field among their colleagues. Especially, if they have
potential
Add an article
the potential
show examples
 for a higher position, their boss might offer them broader opportunities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the more
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
job
Use synonyms
, the more they feel comfortable with their tasks and the environment in the
company
Use synonyms
.
Theur
Correct your spelling
Their
Use synonyms
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, most
people
Use synonyms
 do not want to
work
Use synonyms
 in the same position for a long period of time. In a number of cases, many
employers
Use synonyms
 want to change their
job
Use synonyms
 because they desire a better
company
Use synonyms
 which helps them broaden not only their knowledge but
also
Linking Words
 their relationships with colleagues. It happens
since
Correct word choice
because
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are dissatisfied with their previous working environment.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, a well-paid
job
Use synonyms
 is
one
Use synonyms
 of the big concerns
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 many
people
Use synonyms
. Some
employers
Use synonyms
 believe that they can earn a higher salary if they switch to another
company
Use synonyms
 with a higher position because the promotion in the old
company
Use synonyms
 is not good enough. In conclusion, having an early
job
Use synonyms
 is a good choice, but it can not be denied that
employers
Use synonyms
 usually change their
work
Use synonyms
 in order to find pleasure in their career.
Submitted by studywithmee.2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: