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Band 5.5

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #job #career #life #change #jobs
Nowadays, it is believed that starting early and maintaining a
job
 could help
people
 achieve their career expectations. I agree with
this
 thought,
however
, I think that switching jobs can gain
job
 satisfaction, too.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the
one
 hand, having an early
job
 might be easier for
employers
 to earn a high salary and promote
in
Change preposition
apply
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their career.
This
 is because those
people
 have to
work
 hard in the same
company
 for a long time.
Moreover
, long-term workers can have a great chance to gain more experience and knowledge in their field among their colleagues. Especially, if they have
potential
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the potential
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 for a higher position, their boss might offer them broader opportunities.
Secondly
, the more
people
work
 in the same
job
, the more they feel comfortable with their tasks and the environment in the
company
.
Theur
Correct your spelling
Their
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, most
people
 do not want to
work
 in the same position for a long period of time. In a number of cases, many
employers
 want to change their
job
 because they desire a better
company
 which helps them broaden not only their knowledge but
also
 their relationships with colleagues. It happens
since
Correct word choice
because
show examples
people
 are dissatisfied with their previous working environment.
Last
 but not least, a well-paid
job
 is
one
 of the big concerns
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 many
people
. Some
employers
 believe that they can earn a higher salary if they switch to another
company
 with a higher position because the promotion in the old
company
 is not good enough. In conclusion, having an early
job
 is a good choice, but it can not be denied that
employers
 usually change their
work
 in order to find pleasure in their career.
Submitted by studywithmee.2022 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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