Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

#people #measures #epidemic

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Nowadays,

people

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afflicted by obesity reached great numbers compared to the past. In my opinion, the primary causes of

this

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issue are little knowledge about

food

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nutrients and little to no physical

activity

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on a daily basis. In the contemporary world,

people

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prefer eating fast-processed

food

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to slow-processed ones because they are cheaper.

For example

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, the majority of individuals who work, go to KFC or Mcdonald's during lunch break because they receive the order quickly and cost cheaper than going to a restaurant.

However

Linking Words

, since the

food

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is fast-processed, the usage of

high inflammatory

Add a hyphen

high-inflammatory

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products to fry the foods, and the quality of these, aggravate

people

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's health resulting in an increase in body fat. A good solution to tackle

this

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problem would be if governments sponsor more campaigns regarding healthy and unhealthy foods

while

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making them compulsory to attend to companies' employees.

This

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would help

people

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be aware of what they consume. Another cause of obesity is

due to

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little to no regular physical

activity

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in individuals' lives. Alongside the development of technology tools,

people

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started to prefer staying at home playing virtual games or surfing on the net to being physically active.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

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gradually started to ignore their well-being, which

concluded

Verb problem

resulted

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in a significant rise in

people

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who are overweight. A solution could be developing apps or games that require physical

activity

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in real life in order to have access to some apps,

such

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as clothing and gaming apps.

This

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, in its little, would help

people

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to do some exercises during the day. In conclusion, the

Use synonyms

people

Correct quantifier usage

number of people

show examples

who are overweight are drastically increasing in modern society and it is

due to

Linking Words

ignorance about

food

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nutrients and no regular physical

activity

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Nonetheless

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, I believe that if the government and app developers use the previously mentioned solutions, they are likely to tackle

this

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problem.

Submitted by mikkia28 on Mon May 23 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly address the essay prompt and provide a cohesive summary of the main points.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas and fully address the question in every aspect.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

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Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones nowadays has unwanted effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?