Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

21st

Correct article usage

The 21st

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century has seen the rise of social media and online streaming media. One of the main reason entertainers

such

as film

stars

or sports

stars

are

Change the verb form

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being paid soo much

money

. There are

multibillion

Correct your spelling

multi-billion

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deals signed between streaming

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

bodies

such

as English Premier League. These sports bodies earn soo much

money

from these streaming

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

because people buy their subscriptions just to see these sports

stars

. Fans are crazy for these

stars

and want to copy them in every aspect of their life. If

these sportsman

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this sportsman

these sportsmen

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or musicians

advertized

Correct your spelling

advertised

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a brand, the popularity of that brand will increase which will reflect on their sales and

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will increase the sale of their brand. These sales will help them in earning

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

money

. So they are investing in these

stars

and paying them

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

money

only to earn more

money

For example

, Cristiano Ronaldo, who is a very famous footballer currently

paying

Correct your spelling

playing

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for a football club Manchester United is being paid approximately 1 million Euros weekly, which seems to be very high. But

on the other hand

, his club is earning 5 million Euros weekly by only selling his merchandise. So,

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totally disagree with the people who think that

stars

are being paid too much

money

. It is a free market, so if a business can afford

paying

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to pay

show examples

his

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

employee too much

money

, it shouldn't be a problem for anyone.

In addition

this

, teachers should be highly paid

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

based on their

qualification

Fix the agreement mistake

qualifications

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. Because teachers are the base of

developing

Replace the word

development

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Change preposition

of a

show examples

nation. Without good

teachers

Add a comma

,teachers

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you can't

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

prosper

Replace the word

prosperous

show examples

nation. But surely they can't be paid as much

stars

are getting paid because it is not possible. But governments can help them by providing

Correct pronoun usage

them with

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

special social benefits.

Submitted by w.asay2222 on Tue May 24 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Using a computer every day can have more negative than postive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone ap is becoming increasingly common thus this development more advantages or disadvantage.

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

Some believe that new science related to criminal forensics should be used to look at old cases. To what extent do you agree or disagre

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?