These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #move #area #adults #development

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Nowadays, communities tend to live in a place where it is not their hometown. Many people migrate to new places, like

city

Use synonyms

even other countries, and leave the house where they come from. It may

as a result

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of financial and occupation demand or even they just want to live in new circumstances. In my opinion,

this

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type of development can bring negative and positive impacts on society.

However

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, for me, it will more advantages than disadvantages.

Therefore

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, in

this

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Add an article

the

show examples

essay I will describe my opinion from both perspectives, especially the weaknesses of

this

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development.

To begin

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with, the benefit of migration is fulfilment in financial support and better carrier, as the value in our society the better job and the more money we have, the more wealth we are. the family often move to the

city

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to get

a better jobs

Correct the article-noun agreement

a better job

better jobs

show examples

and gain more money. It is not only a distance movement but

also

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a social movement. Through the shift to a better community, they can

also

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change their life fortune.

For instance

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, my parents are migrants. They change from one

village

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to the capital

city

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of the province where I am living now. At the

first

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, they went to the

city

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for getting a better education. Yet,

finally

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, they got a better carrier in the

city

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Thus

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, they decided to step away from their hometown.

On the other hand

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, the disadvantage is types of jobs in their origin place will disappear.

For example

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, as I mentioned before about my parents, the fact that a lot of my parent's friends from the same

village

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also

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moved from that

village

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As a result

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, the

village

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looks so quiet, and there is only a handful of people are living there. Yet, the most tragic is that most of the fertile soil there is not used again owing to the fact that lack of farmers there. To conclude, moving to other places and leaving the origin venue, can be advantages and disadvantages. Yet, from my perspective,

this

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development will be more destructive than constructive if there is no decisive regulation to control the movement of the community.

Submitted by nagendranp1991 on Tue May 24 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

metropolitan
migration
globalization
socio-economic factors
traditional norms
cosmopolitan environment
brain drain
assimilation
gentrification
alienation
multiculturalism
infrastructure strain

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These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nuclear power is used both for weapons of mass destruction and the production of cheap, clean energy. Do the advantages of nuclear power outweigh the disadvantages?