some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #hobbies

There are some different

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

show examples

about doing

hobbies

. Some people think hard activities will end up

unfibisehd

Correct your spelling

unfinished

and others

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

, some like me

beleive

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believe

the

dificulties

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difficulties

dose

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does

show examples

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

mater.

firstly

, the

hobbies

which are difficult

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

not even resumed as they are too hard to follow. As our brain

designed

Add a missing verb

is designed

show examples

to effectively works when only

consantreates

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concentrates

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show examples

one task and not dealing with

moltiple

Correct your spelling

multiple

issues. For

exampl

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example

hobby

Add an article

the hobby

a hobby

show examples

of collecting traphels needs lots of

patent

Change to a plural noun

patents

show examples

and long

destenation

Correct your spelling

destination

walking

this

could change a

persons

Change noun form

person's

show examples

mind as it is too difficult to stick to it.

Therefore

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

peope

Correct your spelling

people

prefre

Correct your spelling

prefer

easier

hobbies

secondly

, some difficulties may stop the person from resuming the

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

hobby

. Take financial difficulties as an example, playing tennis is an

expenive

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expensive

sport many

wish

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wishes

show examples

to attend to tennis

clases

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classes

class

and resume it as a

hobby

However

, as

this

activity is a

costy

Correct your spelling

costly

cost

one many simply could not

affored

Correct your spelling

afford

afforded

it.

Therefore

, difficult activities may reduce one's passion for that

hobby

. In the way of

conclusoion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

hobbies

are important for our daily life and when they are hard to do they may end up unfinished and

this

could stop people

doing

Change preposition

from doing

show examples

the activities they like.

Submitted by parafik on Tue May 24 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unique challenge
personal growth
mastery
accomplishment
demanding
thrill of achievement
pastimes
fostering
sense of community
mindfulness
stress relief
mental break
daily stressors

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some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

80.Some people beleive that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think that school should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion

it is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and personal lives do you think advantages of taking risks outweight the disadvantages

In some countries ,there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?