some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are some different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
about doing
hobbies
Use synonyms
. Some people think hard activities will end up
unfibisehd
Correct your spelling
unfinished
and others
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
, some like me
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
the
dificulties
Correct your spelling
difficulties
dose
Correct your spelling
does
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
mater.
firstly
Linking Words
, the
hobbies
Use synonyms
which are difficult
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
not even resumed as they are too hard to follow. As our brain
designed
Add a missing verb
is designed
show examples
to effectively works when only
consantreates
Correct your spelling
concentrates
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
one task and not dealing with
moltiple
Correct your spelling
multiple
issues. For
exampl
Correct your spelling
example
,
Use synonyms
hobby
Add an article
the hobby
a hobby
show examples
of collecting traphels needs lots of
patent
Change to a plural noun
patents
show examples
and long
destenation
Correct your spelling
destination
walking
this
Linking Words
could change a
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
mind as it is too difficult to stick to it.
Therefore
Linking Words
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
peope
Correct your spelling
people
prefre
Correct your spelling
prefer
easier
hobbies
Use synonyms
.
secondly
Linking Words
, some difficulties may stop the person from resuming the
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
hobby
Use synonyms
. Take financial difficulties as an example, playing tennis is an
expenive
Correct your spelling
expensive
sport many
wish
Change to a plural noun
wishes
show examples
to attend to tennis
clases
Correct your spelling
classes
class
and resume it as a
hobby
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, as
this
Linking Words
activity is a
costy
Correct your spelling
costly
cost
one many simply could not
affored
Correct your spelling
afford
afforded
it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, difficult activities may reduce one's passion for that
hobby
Use synonyms
. In the way of
conclusoion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
hobbies
Use synonyms
are important for our daily life and when they are hard to do they may end up unfinished and
this
Linking Words
could stop people
doing
Change preposition
from doing
show examples
the activities they like.
Submitted by parafik on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unique challenge
  • personal growth
  • mastery
  • accomplishment
  • demanding
  • thrill of achievement
  • pastimes
  • fostering
  • sense of community
  • mindfulness
  • stress relief
  • mental break
  • daily stressors
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