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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In modern
society
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, there are lots of citizens spending less
time
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 developing their
hobbies
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 and
this
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 will bring numerous negative impacts to individuals and
society
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 at large. In
this
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 essay, I would like to discuss the reason and effects of
such
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 phenomenon on both individuals and
society
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. Of all the reasons why
people
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 devote less
time
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 to
hobbies
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, probably the most significant one is that they easily get addicted to external factors nowadays. Thanks to technological advancement,
people
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 are now preferably spending enormous
time
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to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
games
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 on their electronic gadgets as it can allow
people
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 to have a sense of satisfaction and excitement by just sitting on chairs.
For example
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, online
games
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 provide rewards if players can complete the challenges within a
time
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 limit.
This
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 kind of reward will keep
people
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 from spending numerous hours playing
games
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. Worse still,
people
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 will sacrifice their spare
time
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 to play
games
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instead
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 of developing their
hobbies
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. Regarding the aforementioned reason
of
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apply
show examples
why
people
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 devote less
time
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 to
hobbies
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, it is ubiquitous that spending less
time
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 on
hobbies
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 is detrimental to
people
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's health and the well-being of
society
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.
Firstly
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, since citizens spend less
time
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to
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on
show examples
hobbies
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such
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 as playing sports, they would end up having a wide range of adverse health problems,
for instance
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, obesity, diabetes,
coronary
Correct word choice
and coronary
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 heart diseases, to name but a few.
In addition
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, the number of
people
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 who admit to hospitals will significantly increase and,
hence
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,
workloads
Correct article usage
the workloads
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 of the public and private hospitals will be inevitably increased.
As a result
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, valuable medical resources can not be allocated to those who are suffering from life-threatening diseases. To summarise, with regards to various negative effects
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 be resulted
by
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from
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 spending less
time
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to
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on
show examples
hobbies
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, in order to improve the well-being of individuals and
society
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, it is of uttermost importance that the general public should be encouraged to develop their
hobbies
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.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
What to do next:
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