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Band 3

To succeed in business, one needs to learn and know math. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#business #math
The table and pie
chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in Australia in terms of nationalities as well as areas. Overall, what stands out from the table and
chart
 is that the majority number of people in
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 is Australian, meanwhile, the
percentage
 of Dutch occupies the lowest position. Interestingly, the proportion
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 people residing in the city is much larger than
this
 in the countryside. Looking at the
chart
 in more detail, the leading position belongs to the proportion of the Australian, at around 73%, which is nearly 70 times as much as the
percentage
 of the Dutch.
Besides
, while the ratio of British makes up only 7%, the proportion of New
Zealander
Fix the agreement mistake
Zealanders
show examples
 and Chinese is nearly the same at around 2%.
In addition
, the
percentage
 of
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 stands in the
second
 place in terms of nationalities, at nearly 15%. When it comes to the pie
chart
, the
percentage
 of the
Australian
Correct your spelling
Australians
show examples
 and the Dutch living in the cities is approximate
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
four-fifths, which is around 4 times higher than that in the countryside.
Similarly
, the ratio of the British and the New
Zealander
Fix the agreement mistake
Zealanders
show examples
 residing in the rural areas is nearly the same at one-tenth, the figures for
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 nationalities are 10 times as little as those ones in the metropolitans.
Furthermore
, there is only 1%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the number of Chinese
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 in the countryside, the others
residing
Wrong verb form
reside
show examples
 in the big cities.
Submitted by phuongank1511 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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