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Band 5.5

Traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving companies, factories and their employees to the countryside. Do you agree or disagree?

#traffic #cities #companies #factories #employees #countryside
In our days, there are huge issues with traffic on the roads and housing
problems
 that
consequently
 have impacts on the country’s economy and
people
’s quality of life. I disagree with the statement about moving out
businesses
 to the countryside and will provide arguments for my opinion.
First
 of all, relocation of the
businesses
 to rural areas will be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 a huge percentage of the organisations and the government itself. When a company is located out of the city area, it does not have profitability from sales or its operations. As a consequence of relocation, major companies will not pay taxes to the authorities and
this
 lead that fewer funds will be invested into housing.
Secondly
, many
people
 cannot afford rent and electricity in cities and it would be better for them to live in the countryside rather than move out
businesses
, factories and employees. Every year, prices for utilities are increasing and it results in homelessness, overall risks of poverty and health
problems
 for citizens.
Also
, it is important to mention that not only do establishments and manufacturing cause traffics and housing issues, but citizens relate to these
problems
 as well. As an example, housing is a huge challenge in London because every year, about 300,000 private properties are built.
However
, a big part of
people
 cannot purchase it due to high prices.
Finally
, due to the housing shortages,
people
 struggle to find living properties because of high costs. It results, in decreasing the place’s population and a bad economy for the government.
Businesses
 are more able to pay for rent a place rather than the average person with a middle-class salary. In
summarising
Replace the word
summary
show examples
, relocation of factories and organisations is not the best solution to solve issues of traffic and housing
problems
. It would be better if
people
 will find out rural areas more attractive as a residence rather than cities.
Submitted by maryanach12 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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