IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the government should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #right #access #university #education #government #students #matter #background
In these days and ages, university education and
accademic
Correct your spelling
academic
 skills are playing a pivotal role in everyone's life,
subsequently
 social
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
.
Althogh
Correct your spelling
Although
, there are some controversies related to whether educational facilities have to become free or not,
however
, In my perspective, I believe that it would boost
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 in some aspects and I will explain how.
Firstly
,
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
 can conveniently decrease the level of crime
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
 by increasing
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of knowledge among its citizens, by which I mean individuals would entertain themselves by participating in university classes or even reading scientific books
instead
 of
commit
Change the verb form
committing
show examples
petty
Add an article
a petty
show examples
 crime or so
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if
state
Correct article usage
the state
show examples
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 them free access of educational system.
Moreover
, it is clear that if people in one society became more knowledgeable,
thus
general
Add an article
the general
show examples
 situation of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 would obviously be more effective and more and more people would work and search the ways to affect the
ecomomic
Correct your spelling
economic
 circumstance.
Finally
, it appears that each dweller in one country in his youth can surely have the opportunity of rising his scientific information,
consequently
 gain some vocational qualification or
accademic
Correct your spelling
academic
 certificates related to his favourite area,
regardeless
Correct your spelling
regardless
, he is poor or
afluent
Correct your spelling
affluent
. Admittedly, I understand that providing free education for all citizens
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
 a huge amount of fund and it can put
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pressure on states,
however
, it can definitely result in
better
Add an article
the better
show examples
 general economic and social climate in one nation. In sum up, despite the fact that providing free courses for all ones, leads to spending substantially a huge amount of money, but it can reduce crime level, economic climate and
also
general
Add an article
the general
a general
show examples
 situation of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
.
Submitted by Monsieur ciel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: