Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, Competition is at its peak. It is becoming difficult to survive in
this
world full of competitive nature. Some people are
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the view that children are needed to learn
this
thing from their school whilst some believe that educational institutes should focus more
to develop
Change preposition
on developing
show examples
teamwork
as well as
cooperation.
However
,
this
essay will discuss
both
opinions before moving to any conclusion. On the one hand, Children who learn to compete with others are
more close
Replace the words
closer
show examples
to
getting
Verb problem
achieving
show examples
success in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. They grow more when they are taught to compete with their classmate. In order to secure a higher rank, they work to their full capacity which helps them to accomplish their targets.
For instance
, After completion of the study, many of them prepare for a government examination in which thousands of candidates
appeared
Wrong verb form
appear
show examples
,
however
, only a few are able to secure their position
due to
cut-throat competition.
On the other hand
,
team-spirit
Correct your spelling
team spirit
show examples
helps to communicate with each other and at the same time, it establishes a feeling of togetherness among all. Take an example of sports,
such
as Football or Cricket under which it is not possible to get victory alone but it can be attained only if there is cooperation among players.
Moreover
, It
also
them to develop social bonding which motivates them to enjoy themselves more.
Furthermore
, These abilities help them to be a leader of the group who acts as the main link to all its members. In conclusion, after taking into consideration
both
views, it is wiser to say that there should be a balance between
both
terms. In my opinion,aspirants should teach
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things equally which encourages them to compete with each other in a healthy way.
Submitted by kuljeetkaur19941 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates to the main idea of the essay.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • strive
  • healthy competition
  • real-world competition
  • excessive
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • win-at-all-costs
  • detrimental
  • character development
  • empathy
  • communication skills
  • group efforts
  • individual talents
  • self-reliance
  • independence
  • balanced approach
  • competitive learning environments
  • cooperative learning environments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: