Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that
men
and
women
should be offered an equal
number
of university seats in each subject. In my opinion,
this
policy can bring significant educational benefits to the
students
,
as well as
bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
individuals equal rights. A good reason to accept
same
Change the article
a same
the same
show examples
number
of
students
among both genders is that it can bring equal rights. In many underdeveloped countries in which
women
are not offered equal educational opportunities as
men
, allocating a fixed
number
of seats to
women
at universities can
be initiating
Wrong verb form
initiate
show examples
steps to mitigate gender discrimination, helping those oppressed girls
Wrong verb form
pursue
show examples
pursuing
Wrong verb form
pursue
show examples
their
dream
Fix the agreement mistake
dreams
show examples
. In Afghanistan,
for example
, millions of girls struggle to keep up with their male peers because of cultural restrictions, and
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
university seats are filled with boys.
This
unjust situation could be alleviated with the mentioned policy, as a beneficial means to achieve a fairer society. Another point to consider is that
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
number
of boys and girls in a class can foster a more inclusive educational atmosphere. Because of physiological differences between the brains of
men
and
women
, they tend to approach differently toward same subjects.
For example
,
men
seem to react more logically compared to
women
who usually tend to be more subtle and consider others’ emotions as well. Meaning that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the combination of both genders in a class expressing their points of view can lead to nurturing a wider perspective in
students
. In conclusion, a balanced proportion of male and female participants in university subjects can foster a more holistic cognitive environment for
students
, and
also
it can act as a revolutionary means to abolish
fender
Correct your spelling
gender
show examples
discrimination, leading to a more progressive society.
Submitted by wHouman on

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task response
Ensure a balanced discussion of both supporting and opposing viewpoints to fully address the task
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices to create stronger connections between ideas and paragraphs
lexical resource
Enhance vocabulary range by using more diverse and precise language
grammatical range
Utilize a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate a more sophisticated command of English

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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