IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by their parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #activities #children #parents
To organize your
child
 in our own way is good
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 we have to make some boundaries and limitations that how much we going to control their life and giving the choice to
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
 to do what they want to is
also
 not effective. I am going to tell you
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my opinion along with details. At starting age of a
child
, They are not as wise to make some good decisions as they will when they grow up. So if parents take control and make some decisions for them, Let them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do
Correct pronoun usage
itdo
show examples
. Because they have seen more
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 and have experienced in their life. Some of them come from their own experiences and some of them from other people. At the time while
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 going to an adult, consider the options what they say and if parents think it's good
then
 go for it. Because if parents
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
 let their children take a step they will never be able to make decisions which will not good for their future. As wise people said, Let the
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 play as they want with life but always keep an eye on them, So if they make mistakes let them do but guide them on
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 way out
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 In ,conclusion
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will say let them choose what they want to do but
also
 keep an eye on it and them guide them between what's good and what's not.
Submitted by umair_05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: