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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
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Some believe that
humans
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 should accept the
climate
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change
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 problem and should try to live with
this
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 situation,
on the contrary
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, others think it would be better if we understand it and take action to prevent its impacts.
While
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 I accept finding a way to stay with it, I believe that it would be better if we
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 prevent it in advance by being aware of our
lifestyles
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 in order to provide a quality of life for us and the coming generations. First and foremost,
climate
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change
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 is the main problem that
humans
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 have faced recently for several decades and it does affect our life beings,
while
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 a growing number of research has confirmed that human activity is one of the main causes contributing to
this
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change
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. Regarding the negative effects of
this
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 situation, it is essential for us to take action to avoid
further
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 devasting effects of
climate
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change
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such
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 as losing biodiversity and extinction of
existed
Wrong verb form
existing
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 species. There are simple methods that we can apply to cope with
this
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 problem
instead
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 of neglecting it.
For example
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, most countries nowadays try to promote clean energy by replacing fossil energy and
also
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 encourage domestic businesses to maintain their Carbon emission. These measures can help to secure the future for the younger generation to live in
this
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 world peacefully.
Consequently
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, preventing
climate
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change
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 by changing our individual activities is a must and turns out to be the most effective way towards
this
Linking Words
 significant situation.
On the other hand
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, some people tend to believe that
humans
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 should learn to live with
climate
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change
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.
This
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 might be because they prefer to accept nature's outcomes as the best solution since it is hard to prevent the natural phenomenon.
Thus
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, we should take risks on
climate
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change
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 and find other ways to survive.
As a result
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, some technology has been invented to help
humans
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 in order to support the changing
lifestyles
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.
For instance
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, there are some innovations established to fight against
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 effects of
climate
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change
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such
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 as the system warning for tsunamis and earthquakes
as well as
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 drought
climate
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 detection for crop protection. With
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 help of advanced technology, we could possibly stabilize our long lives towards the severe weather
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, I partially disagree with the view that we should ignore those changes in weather, but
instead
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, we should be aware of our
lifestyles
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 since it is one of the main causes driving an increase in temperature around the world. Trying to live with
climate
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change
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 should always be the value that we keep in mind, but it is not because we intend to do nothing to protect our nature,
conversely
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, we as
humans
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, need to
awake
Correct your spelling
awaken
show examples
 and try to prevent it as much as we can to ensure a better place for the next generations. In conclusion, I am convinced that
climate
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change
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 could be prevented by changing our
lifestyles
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 and raising awareness among us.
However
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, in my opinion, it is a necessity to live and learn from the failures that we have made to nature in order to sustain
this
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 world effectively.
Submitted by aitsara1129 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically organized throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
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