IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people do not go directly to college but travel or work for a short time. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

#people #college #travel #work #time
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In
this
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 day and age,
instead
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 of attending tertiary education, many students travel or work
in
Change preposition
for
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 short-term time. To my way of thinking, the benefits of
this
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 phenomenon are equal to its drawbacks. On the one hand, there are numerous good points
of
Change preposition
about
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 taking a break between high school and college.
First
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 of all, through trips and working experiences,
people
Use synonyms
 can accumulate many soft skills,
such
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 as time management, communication,
teamwork
Correct word choice
and teamwork
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, which are really useful in university.
Furthermore
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, trips and volunteer
works
Change the verb form
work
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 not only expand their knowledge but
also
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 enhance their career prospect through precious experiences.
For example
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, when
people
Use synonyms
 visit any destinations, they can know different cultures,
people
Use synonyms
, weather conditions and local cuisines On the flip side, its disadvantages should be taken into consideration. The primary drawback is that travelling is money squandering.
People
Use synonyms
 consume a lot of money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the tour
a tour
show examples
tour
Fix the agreement mistake
tours
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, but
in contrast
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, they may gain nothing from those.
Secondly
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,
people
Use synonyms
 who have already
make
Wrong verb form
made
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 ends meet will find
difficult
Correct pronoun usage
it difficult
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 to continue their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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. They are attracted by money, with the dream of becoming affluent. Having all the aforementioned arguments, I would conclude that travelling and experiencing
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 apart from school brings several merits, but
also
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 serious bad points.
Submitted by duongkt on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • self-discovery
  • character-building
  • enhanced
  • independence
  • adaptability
  • interpersonal skills
  • open-mindedness
  • global perspective
  • delayed
  • employment prospects
  • financial burden
  • educational attainment
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