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Band 4

In many countries people tend to move overseas or move to a different part of their country after their retirement. Discuss why it is so and the outcomes of this situation. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion

#countries #people #move #part #country #retirement #outcomes #situation #support
Individuals in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plenty of countries relocate to a new
place
 after
completetion
Correct your spelling
completion
 of their services. In the following
Correct your spelling
essay
eassy
Add a comma
,eassy
show examples
 we will discuss the few reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 moving to
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 location and will discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that.
To begin
 with,
their
Replace the word
there
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 are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of causes to move
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
differnt
Correct your spelling
different
 places.
Firstly
, during
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 working time they have to live
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a particular area because posting by the government,
thus
 when they get
retire
Change the form of the verb
retired
show examples
 from their work
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 want a new atmosphere around them.
Secondly
, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 it is difficult to find a new job
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
further
 survive so
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 decide the move to
a other
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
 country.
For example
, In
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 many
government
Change to a plural noun
governments
show examples
as well as semi-government
Add the comma(s)
, as well as semi-government sector,
show examples
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
show examples
 provide
residencial
Correct your spelling
residential
Residencial
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
 to their employees so when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 retired they have to leave the provided home.
On the other hand
, the stop the movement of masses in the same area organizations should take
Correct your spelling
initiative
iniciative
Correct article usage
the iniciative
show examples
 by providing them
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other alternative work, which will help them to complete the basic
aminities
Correct your spelling
amenities
 of their family.
Moreover
,
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 more than 60 years and retired from any service, administrations of the provinces should provide them
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 residential colony so that the stress of construction of
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 home will decrease
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
they feel free from any burden of extra cost
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living.
Furthermore
, private companies should
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 pay
monthly
Add an article
a monthly
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 to their
parmanent
Correct your spelling
permanent
 workers when they retired
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
there because they spend the essential period of their life in the growth of that organization. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, a survey proved that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
some private sectors in many
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 give regular
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 to their employees until the end of life. To recapitulate, some people are habitual to relocate from one
place
 to another
place
 but at the same time certain individuals have to move to a different
place
 to maintain family lifestyle and government of the
contry
Correct your spelling
country
 and industries should have to arrange
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
 way to survive after the person get retirement.
Submitted by gurmit.150 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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