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Band 5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
In recent years,
advertisement
Correct article usage
the advertisement
show examples
 sector is becoming more advanced and people can be exposed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 adverts easily due to the advancement of technology. So, many businesses try to send
Correct article usage
a message
show examples
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
 to
public
Add an article
the public
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 that the introduced
products
 are the
first
 design in the market. There are several reasons why they are doing
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
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this
 way.
Also
, I think that benefits might be more than drawbacks.
To begin
, it can be deniable that people are more
interesting
Replace the word
interested
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 in new
products
 and
also
, they want to become a
first
buyer
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buyers
show examples
, especially in branded
products
. The main responsibility of advertising is trying to persuade customers’
mind
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minds
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 for purchasing
products
. Depending on
people
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people's
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 psychology, advert creators
attempting
Wrong verb form
attempt
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 to generate
advertisements
 with
creative
Correct article usage
a creative
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mind set
Correct your spelling
mindset
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 and they desire that the images of their
product
 are captured in
customer’s
Correct article usage
the customer’s
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 memory.
For example
,
advertisements
 from Thailand are very innovative in storylines which cannot be noticeable
that is
 an advert.
Therefore
, business owners always seek a way to innovate
products
 while they highlighted about
latest
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the latest
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product
 or new features of
existing
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an existing
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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 in
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
.
Moreover
,
company
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the company
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also
 used
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
of
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for
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 new
products
in
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for
show examples
another reason
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other reasons
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 like they announced to
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 and competitors that they are the owner
for
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of
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this
 new
product
 or feature.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other way, other
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
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 from
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 business industry cannot copy or introduced to customers with same
products
.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other side of
public
Correct article usage
the public
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’ view, many
advertisements
 usually try to mention that they are the newest
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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as a result
, their beliefs
to
Change preposition
about
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advertisements
 becoming decreased and repetition of
this
 incident may lead to
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sales
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
. To conclude, while it is true to say that there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 still drawbacks, in fact, there are many advantages for customer and business.
Submitted by zawlinnaing.96126 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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