Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There are many
animals
that lives in
world
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the world
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before we humans got developed and their importance to the environment is unquestionable.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
many policymakers think erroneously that
spent
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
some
money
with them is kind of
usless
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useless
.
This
essay will explore arguments
toward
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for
show examples
how good can be the benefits of keeping the wild
animals
Change to a genitive case
animal's
animals'
show examples
protection
Replace the word
protected
show examples
and aid the readers
understand
Add the particle
to understand
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the facts.
First
of all
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apply
show examples
the
Add a comma
,the
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not only the ecosystem will get in trouble if the
narature
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nature
narrator
just lost their treasure but
also
we humans as well. One of the
Correct your spelling
biggest
bigest
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biggest
show examples
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
in
this
theme is about which animal will replace the function of a unique animal if they get extinct.
For example
, each alive body in the whole world there is their own
papaer
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paper
to do by
them self
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themself
show examples
, it is not that easy looking for a new one to do that specific job.
In addition
to
this
point,
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
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the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
could bring us awesome benefits that unfortunately people do not think as they should do about it.
This
is because mom nature
aways
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always
show examples
walk
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walks
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beside humanity but when
save
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saving
show examples
money
talks the
policymakers
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policymaker's
policymakers'
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purpose changes at
all
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apply
show examples
. Yes, the points mentioned above offer strong arguments
however
there are many other subjects to discuss
such
as our future health. One supportive argument states that some drawbacks
about
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of
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this
theme can just destroy the
tradicional
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traditional
fauna as we
know
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itknow
show examples
.
Addionally
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Additionally
the air that we breathe, the ecosystem as we know, the nature as we see wonder that it can
disapear
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disappear
if the
animals
do not
be protect
Change the verb form
be protected
show examples
scarys
Correct your spelling
scares
scary
every single person
expection
Correct your spelling
expectation
policitians
Correct your spelling
politicians
who make
money
with that problem. In fact, we have to make wild
animals
safe as they deservers
although
it costs
money
, it should be priceless if we think well what they can return to the whole environment disturbing the nature can cause creepy problems, so it is important
keep
Add the particle
to keep
show examples
it in mind and treat them as our biggest treasure.
Submitted by jhonnysouzadasilva on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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