IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time
Leisure activities are predominant for
children
's growth mentally as well as physically. Some believe that it should be controlled with educational activity
otherwise
children
 are wasting their time on nothing.
On the other hand
, some say that it should not be controlled and we let offsprings play in their own way to leisure. I strongly support the latter view. In following the paragraphs, I explain brain
development
 and
creativity
 to support it.
Firstly
,
children
 have a very good imagination and
creativity
. If we do not let
children
 play with their own ideas it will destroy their
creativity
.
For example
, some kids are very good at copying other people but not good in studies. They will become a comedian in future and earn more than enough to support themselves and their families. From the educational point of view, those students are not doing good, but they can reduce the people's stress with jokes which can not be easily removed with a medicine.
Thus
, we should let
children
 choose what they want to play with. It may possible that they will discover or invent something which is not yet discovered and not in our education system.
Secondly
, physical games play a vital role in the brain's
development
. It sharps the mind and increases the decision making capability of teenagers. Some studies show that a football player can think of more than thousands of permutations in a fraction of a
second
 and reach the best decision based on the situation.
Thus
, by controlling them we can make them ready for some situations, but not for the situations which we do not face yet. So, by restricting them we
also
 stop their mental
development
. To conclude, It is very important to leave the kids to choose their leisure activity which results in sharp mental
development
 and better
creativity
.
Submitted by ghuman1986 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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