It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cultures #technology

Some

people

said

Wrong verb form

say

show examples

that it is unpreventable

due to

advancements in engineering sciences, and conventional customs will

be disappeared

Wrong verb form

disappear

show examples

because science and heritage are opposite to each other. I fully agree with

this

idea and in

this

essay, I will explain all

this

along with

illustrations followed by a lucid conclusion.

To begin

with, Old ways of life will become low ground because of

improvement

Fix the agreement mistake

improvements

show examples

in applied sciences since technology provides many ways to observe the modern world closely. There

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a great many entertainment applications available online which can be easily accessed through phones and

people

are more into

this

nowadays, especially the

youths

Fix the agreement mistake

youth

show examples

Thus

, Watching foreign movies and serials

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

the natives in

such

a way that they are adopting their manners.

For example

, Most teens recently are copying their favourite international stars and their approach to dressing, talking, etc

accordingly

Furthermore

, The other factor encountered in

this

regard is that

due to

progress in robotics

people

are nearer to each other than in the past. Currently, there are millions of sources for

people

to connect with each other and

this

connectivity brings them close to one another.

Therefore

, they have many opportunities to mix up traditions. In the media, I have heard the news that many European men and women are getting

marriages

Replace the word

married

show examples

to other nationalities,

For instance

To conclude

Due to

growth in engineering old manners will be diminished because communications technology devotes a number of methods to watching

people

and the public has less apart from one another. Given

this

situation, It seems that parents need to educate their youngsters and give them enough knowledge and values about their own ways of life

Submitted by engrizazsaeed on Mon May 30 2022

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task response

Provide a clear position and support it with relevant examples and explanations.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points of the essay.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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