In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#societies #crimes #teenagers #people #age #adult #punishment

In some countries the number of delinquencies committed by juveniles is increasing,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why humanity considers that all crimes despite their age should receive equal judgment. Actually, I agree with

this

statement and to my mind, the sentence should be for all

people

. I am going to give a couple of arguments. First of all, the punishment was made to avoid dangerous situations and to improve the lives of

people

because crime is dreadful.

Thus

people

who

made

Verb problem

committed

show examples

an atrocity can think about their decision and maybe choose the right side. In

this

situation, teenagers are encouraged to commit a crime, because they know that their punishments will be light.

For instance

, in a country where drugs are illegal, a young person sold

this

stuff and he didn't bear the blame. So, adults and children should be punished equally which is independent of their ages.

Secondly

, after their punishment, they can realize that wrongdoing is nasty. In my opinion, it is the main point why not only adults but

also

teens have to go to prison after their offences.

Furthermore

, the harsher the punishment will be, the better it will be for little ones. I support the opinions of the myriad

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

who commit similar crimes. It is

also

good to make the same legislation in the world to reduce the number of misdeeds. In conclusion, I would like to say that only judgment can stop crime in the world and it's the only

apply

Verb problem

apply

show examples

way to achieve world peace.

Submitted by Alexandrdr.35 on Mon May 30 2022

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task response

Task Response: The essay partially responds to the prompt, but the position on the issue is not clearly stated. The arguments lack depth and specificity, and the conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay shows some organization and logical structure, but the ideas are not well connected. The introduction and the conclusion need improvement to effectively frame the essay. Additionally, the use of examples and supporting points could be more specific and relevant to the arguments presented.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

juvenile delinquency
criminal behavior
rehabilitation
recidivism
adolescent development
retribution
impulse control
the justice system
societal influences
environmental factors
juvenile justice
punitive measures
adult incarceration
youth crime
reformative programs
deterrence
mitigating circumstances
restorative justice
correctional facilities
peer pressure

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In some societies, the number of crimes commited by teenagers is growing. some people think that regardless of age, teenagers who commit major crimes should receive adult punishment. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

Some People Think That Allowing Children To Make Their Own Choices Is Likely To Result In A Society Of Individuals Who Only Think About Their Own Wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your friend is thinking about learning to drive and would like some advice. Write a letter to your friend. - Say why a driving license is advantageous - Recommend a driving school - Give extra guidance/ tips

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?