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Band 4.5

Major companies use sports events to promote their product. Some people think it has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sports #events #product #people #impact
Leading companies prefer to use Athletic competition to advertise their products. Some opines that
this
 creates a bad effect on
sports
games
.
This
 essay strongly
disagree
Change the verb form
disagrees
show examples
 with
this
 statement because of these adverts organisers
such
 as
sports
 Acadamy,
sports
 commission and etc, gets
astonishing
Add an article
an astonishing
show examples
 amount of fund and more number of events will be organised that
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 the fans happy. On
one
 hand, there is a monetary gain from the Advertisements. Famous firms choose athletics in order to promote their brands,as it is
one
 of the most
potential
Replace the word
potent
show examples
 ways to advertise. Since it as a fast and successful
approc
Correct your spelling
approach
approx
,.
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,
.
show examples
many establishments come forward to sponsor the
games
 and the players to get the customer which results
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 huge money from the
games
.
For example
, IPL cricket is sponsored with splendid
amonut
Correct your spelling
amount
 by various enterprises which gives great profit to the IPL cricket committee and its participants. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
,
one
 of the leisure activities is
sport
Add an article
a sport
show examples
 which is
favourite
Correct article usage
a favourite
show examples
 for all people irrespective of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 age and it is celebrated widely by everyone all over the world.
Increased
Correct article usage
The increased
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number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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sponsorship encourages many countries to host many events that boost the
country
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country's
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ecnomomy
Correct your spelling
economy
 as well.
Sports
 lovers tend to travel
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 way to watch the
games
 and cherish the moments.
For Instance
,
FIFA
Correct article usage
the FIFA
show examples
 football world cup is organised once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every five years by
one
 of the countries.
country
 infrastructures are developed because of the match and it draws more ardent fans to the
country
 which results in more income apart from sponsorship. In conclusion, promotions of brands through the
games
 is the preferred by developed organisations.
This
 essay believes that it generates revenue for both, the
estabilishment
Correct your spelling
establishment
 as well as the
country
 and people who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 crazy about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 overwhelmed by
this
.
Submitted by s.s.kousalya on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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