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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age.

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I agree that some categories of workers should retire and receive a
pension
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 earlier than others. We can set retirement
age
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 depending on the occupation,
health
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 status, and job experience. I believe that workers from harmful production, military, policemen, who can’t
work
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 properly because they don’t have enough
health
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 inasmuch as they are very old have right on the earlier
pension
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. I would like to add employees who start
work
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 early and has a
lot
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 of
work
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 experience. I would like to show some examples. The
work
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 of the military involves a
lot
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 of physical and emotional tension, especially for those who are a part of a war,
on the other hand
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, the older the rank the more
work
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 there is in the headquarters. Because we can set certain retirement
age
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 for every rank and military profession. Another category is a civilian pilot. No matter what model aircraft they make a
lot
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 of noise, and vibration. The pilot receives radiation. All that affects
health
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. Good
health
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 is especially important because they are responsible for a
lot
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 of people. I count that pilots should retire and receive a
pension
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 at an earlier
age
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. Not all of us could go to college and university. Somebody started to
work
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 at an earlier
age
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, after school already. If somebody starts working early
then
Linking Words
 he should retire and receive a
pension
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 at an early
age
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 too. Retiring isn’t guilty. We and the government should help them receive a new profession. We don’t need to restrict them from receiving a
pension
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.
Submitted by vchilikov on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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