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many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay with the family. discuss both the view and give your own opinion.

#parents #people #home
It differs according to one culture to another whether it's better for young
people
 to leave
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
parents
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parents'
parent's
show examples
home
 as soon as possible when they are getting older. In
this
 short essay, I will discuss both
approach
Change to a plural noun
approaches
show examples
 and express my own opinion that it is so important for young
people
 to feel their
parents
' support in every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
 can be given. Some
parents
 prefer to encourage their
children
 to leave
home
 when they become older
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they try to create necessary opportunities for them to gain their own money and live alone as an individual should do. These opportunities can be going to a foreign country to work as a
voluntier
Correct your spelling
volunteer
 or working in a part-time job. Without any doubt,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of experiences develop many skills and prepare them
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 adulthood and professional life. Even though it might be quite
facinating
Correct your spelling
fascinating
 for young
people
 to get on their own food, leaving
home
ealier
Correct your spelling
earlier
 before they are really ready to do may put a distance from their own
home
 which cannot be established again. More importantly, they might lose
confident
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confidence
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 themselves because of a simple mistake.
On the other hand
, some other
parents
 want their
children
 to stay closer to them and face possible difficulties of life can bring together. Generally speaking, they basically think that those mistakes that can be done by their
children
 can be harmful in terms of mental health or financially.
Moreover
, keeping their
children
 close to them as much as they can
may
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
create strong
relation
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relationships
show examples
 within the family, which is their main desire. Here, it is crucial not to
intervine
Correct your spelling
intervene
interview
young
Change preposition
in young
show examples
people
's individuality and prevent them from taking control
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 own
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. In my point of view, the most important thing is to enjoy and be
generious
Correct your spelling
generous
 every
second
 you share with your own
children
. I believe that it opens a
maginal
Correct your spelling
magical
marginal
 opportunity to get to know each other and a family with a strong relationship can decide
such
 a crucial turning-point together.
Submitted by topcu.bahar on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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