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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holiday. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages ?

#employers #contact #staff #times #holiday #development
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some companies always want to be in touch with their employees around the clock, even if they are on vacation.
This
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 kind of
work
Use synonyms
 practice always
bring
Change the verb form
brings
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 negative effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
company's
Correct article usage
the company's
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 culture
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then
Replace the word
than
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 positive impact.
This
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 essay will discuss some disadvantages of
this
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 kind of
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
show examples
 little
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 for both employers and
employs
Replace the word
employees
show examples
.
First
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 of all, employees are working hard for 8 to 9 hr on working days. They would like
of
Change preposition
to
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 spend quality time with
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 family after
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 day at
work
Use synonyms
 or on holiday. If
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 boss or senior
calling
Wrong verb form
calls
show examples
 them frequently after office hours. It will disturb
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 personal life. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
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, if
Correct article usage
the employ
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employ
Replace the word
employee
show examples
 is on holiday and there calling keep calling him for
Use synonyms
work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
show examples
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
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,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
other family
Change the wording
another family
other families
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 will defiantly not like that.
Secondly
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,
this
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 will create
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 image
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
company
Use synonyms
 in
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
.
Employs
Replace the word
Employees
show examples
 will always
seeking
Change the verb form
seek
be seeking
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 of another job, where
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 working environment. And they will
also
Linking Words
 not recommend
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 to
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 people who are willing to join that
company
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.
As a result
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,
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 will face difficulty to find new workers, even if they give a good offer to them.
Although
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,
Some time
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
 they have to contact the
employ
Replace the word
employer
show examples
, because of,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 dependency and they are the only person, who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 the certain
knows
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
 about the project. And it is understandable that if
project
Correct article usage
the project
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go
Change the verb form
goes
show examples
 smoothly
then
Linking Words
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 will grow end
employs
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 will
also
Linking Words
benefited
Change the verb form
benefit
be benefited
show examples
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 appraisal. In conclusion, Contacting
employs
Replace the word
employees
show examples
 all the time, impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
employ’s
Replace the word
employee’s
show examples
 personal life and
also
Linking Words
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
 will create it's bad image and face problem to find new staff. Due to some dependency
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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