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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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It is undeniable that a large amount of
sugar
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 is contained in man-made
food
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 and drink causing multifarious heart-related diseases.
However
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, many
people
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 hold the view that these
products
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 should be held at a higher price to boost
people
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 to eat less
sugar
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, and in my opinion, I strongly disagree with
this
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 idea. These days, high sugary
food
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 and drink are no longer a big problem among
people
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 from all over the world. One of the best solutions to
this
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 issue is that increasing the price can facilitate and motivate dwellers to cut down on their expenses for those
products
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. Despite the fact that the citizens will surely have a tendency to buy cheaper and more nutritious
food
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 to consume, I believe
this
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 is a short-sighted view answer. To make
this
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 clear, putting a higher price on sugary
products
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 is actually stimulating
people
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 to buy them, especially children.
For instance
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, many Asian families are inclined to buy sweets for their children just because they indulge and want to give them happiness.
That is
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 not wrong but eventually, it will result in a bad habit among the youth at an early age, and even worse, they might form into a sedentary lifestyle and
also
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 become obese. Another detrimental effect
that is
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 not all
people
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 would buy healthy
food
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 to eat, they are not coerced to spend their money on those
products
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 and they could use their money to buy fast
food
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 or alcohol
for example
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.
Therefore
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, giving sugary
food
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 at a pricey cost is not always the best choice to help
people
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 eat less
sugar
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,
instead
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, we should take into consideration its demerits of it.
On the other hand
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, I firmly believe the harmful impacts of factory-made
products
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 having a large amount of
sugar
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 will certainly bring back health problems.
Although
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sugar
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 is a great component in a dish to provide energy for a day, overconsuming sugary
products
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 can cause some ailments including diabetes, heart diseases, and tooth decay. In detail, lacking other nutritious substances can not provide us with the necessary lipid,
hence
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 our body will be suffered from illness, and especially kids can not develop comprehensively. Another effect mentioned in the previous paragraph is obesity. According to research in America, more than 56% of citizens in
this
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 country are obese while the rate of adults who are overweight takes the lead in
this
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 figure with more than 25%.
Besides
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, if the grown-ups are slightly a little bit heavy can be a bad example for children to look up to. Henceforth, the consequences of sugary
products
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 are harmful to consumers, particularly the youngsters which leads to bad leisure behaviour afterwards. In conclusion, after the aforementioned reasons, it is no doubt that the results of using
products
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 with high levels of
sugar
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 impact a lot on our health.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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