IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that entertainers (e.g.film stars, pop musicians or sports stars)are paid too much money.Do you agree or disagree?which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that entertainers (e.g.film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) should pay too much money. In my opinion, I firmly agree with
this
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 comment.
Moreover
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, I will advise other types of jobs that should be highly paid in the following paragraph.
To begin
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 with, The reason that I
support
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 the comment is all entertainers before they were famous. They must have lots of
support
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 from the
people
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 and
government
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.
For example
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, Sports stars not only have time to practice but
also
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 have financial
support
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 from the
government
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. The budgets of the
government
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 came from taxes from the citizens.
Accordingly
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, Celebrities should pay higher tax more than a normal person.
Then
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,
Government
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 can make these taxes to
support
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 poor
people
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 in the
country
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.
On the other hand
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, Other types of jobs that I think they should be highly paid are a million businessmen. In my
country
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, It has a lot of evidence that the
government
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support
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 business.
For example
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,
Government
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 has a measure to reduce income taxes for magnates. In order to balance profits together related to politics and economics collaborate.
However
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, It has a bad effect on normal
people
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 in the
country
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. Thailand has an inequality proportion in the economy and owning estate. More
third
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-quarter of the population does not have an estate for investing own business than one-quarter of magnates in the
country
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.
Moreover
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, the Ranking result from CS Global Wealth Report reported that Thailand is in the
third
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 rank among all
country
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 that has inequality and economic problem.
Accordingly
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, I believe that its time to grand business in Thailand should be highly paid in the
country
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. In conclusion, In my opinion, I think
people
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 who have a giant of money, power and are well-known should be paid too much money to help
people
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 in the state.
Submitted by first.kantapat on

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