Some people believe that entertainers (e.g.film stars, pop musicians or sports stars)are paid too much money.Do you agree or disagree?which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #jobs

Some

people

believe that entertainers (e.g.film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) should pay too much money. In my opinion, I firmly agree with

this

comment.

Moreover

, I will advise other types of jobs that should be highly paid in the following paragraph.

To begin

with, The reason that I

support

the comment is all entertainers before they were famous. They must have lots of

support

from the

people

and

government

For example

, Sports stars not only have time to practice but

also

have financial

support

from the

government

. The budgets of the

government

came from taxes from the citizens.

Accordingly

, Celebrities should pay higher tax more than a normal person.

Then

Government

can make these taxes to

support

poor

people

in the

country

On the other hand

, Other types of jobs that I think they should be highly paid are a million businessmen. In my

country

, It has a lot of evidence that the

government

support

business.

For example

Government

has a measure to reduce income taxes for magnates. In order to balance profits together related to politics and economics collaborate.

However

, It has a bad effect on normal

people

in the

country

. Thailand has an inequality proportion in the economy and owning estate. More

third

-quarter of the population does not have an estate for investing own business than one-quarter of magnates in the

country

Moreover

, the Ranking result from CS Global Wealth Report reported that Thailand is in the

third

rank among all

country

that has inequality and economic problem.

Accordingly

, I believe that its time to grand business in Thailand should be highly paid in the

country

. In conclusion, In my opinion, I think

people

who have a giant of money, power and are well-known should be paid too much money to help

people

in the state.

Submitted by first.kantapat on Thu Jun 02 2022

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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