IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to the closure of shopping stores in cities. Do you agree or disagree with this?

With the increasing use of the internet, online shopping has become extremely popular
amongst
Change preposition
among
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people
Use synonyms
. Many argue that online shopping will take over the industry and lead to the
shutting down
Verb problem
shutdown
show examples
 of all the local shops. In my opinion, the local stores can never completely go out of trend.
This
Linking Words
 essay will talk about the challenges involved with buying online and how offline shopping benefits
people
Use synonyms
. Online shopping is tempting and convenient
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 it comes with many challenges, one of which is the waiting period. Sometimes
people
Use synonyms
 want things urgently
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
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 example, for an event at the office the next day or a party that they were not planning to attend before. In
such
Linking Words
 cases, customers want solutions immediately
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 local stores serve the purpose best because they have a variety of products and the convenience of providing the
product
Use synonyms
 at the time when it is needed. The other problem associated with shopping online is receiving a faulty
product
Use synonyms
, a
Punctuation problem
. A
show examples
 lot of
times
Punctuation problem
times,
show examples
 it happens that the
product
Use synonyms
 received is either damaged or completely different from what was described
,
Punctuation problem
. Then
show examples
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
then,
show examples
 to get the resolution customer has to reach out to the customer service department and
then
Linking Words
 return
back
Rephrase
apply
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the
product
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 like to stay away from
such
Linking Words
 hassles
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it is very annoying.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to online shopping, buying things from the stores is much easier and more convenient. There is no waiting period involved
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 you can choose the
product
Use synonyms
 yourself
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 there is no possibility of getting an incorrect or damaged item.
In addition
Linking Words
 to these benefits, some products
like
Punctuation problem
, like
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 vegetables and
fruits
Punctuation problem
fruits,
show examples
 are best when purchased offline.
Overall
Linking Words
, online shopping could look fancy
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it can never completely replace offline shopping because of the numerous benefits
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 customer satisfaction.

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structure
Plan your essay. Start with a short view of the topic. Make a clear plan for two body parts and a simple end.
coherence
Use link words in a simple way to show links between ideas, like and, but, also, however.
content
Give examples with small facts or numbers to show your point.
grammar
Keep sentences short. If a line is long, break it into two.
grammar
Check spell and capital letters and use the same verb tense.
content
You state a clear view that local shops can stay, not be wiped out.
coherence
You show both sides with online and offline talk.
structure
Conclusion restates the view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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