many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree ?

There is no doubt that There
days
, products have a high level of sugars as the question is, Why the
manfacted
Correct your spelling
manufactured
the dwelling product and
ues
Correct your spelling
use
Quantitly
Correct your spelling
Quantity
significant of
sugre
Correct your spelling
sugar
?in
this
essay, I am going to discuss both views and dram my
owm
Correct your spelling
own
opinion,in term problem in recent
days
people
become Overweight due to
this
product,
also
they have
heath
Correct your spelling
health
show examples
problems
for example
ance.the main reason given to support
this
claim
Nevertheless
is that there are a lot of number
teengers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
the Overweight and they feel shy can
hungout
Correct your spelling
hung out
with there
firends
Correct your spelling
friends
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
the start drink and eat every sing
days
that why they
gaimweight
Correct your spelling
gain weight
. To illustrate, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
people
eat
Correct pronoun usage
who eat
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
prooblems
Correct your spelling
problems
problem
;Some
days
peole
Correct your spelling
people
want deeply something
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
them
deighted
Correct your spelling
delighted
and
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
products Preservatives make the person Happy. in
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
world the
advertsing
Correct your spelling
advertising
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
the human attraction
Change preposition
to this
show examples
this products
Change the determiner
this product
these products
show examples
specifically The way they
adverties
Correct your spelling
advertise
advertises
is tempting,
Moreover
, some
people
believe the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
on of
this
reason
shpuld
Correct your spelling
should
the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
step the
manfatued
Correct your spelling
manufactured
,
Firsity
Correct your spelling
Firstly
in
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, should the work about product same quality; less the
sugre
Correct your spelling
sure
sugar
surge
.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
they most to do in appearance gradually
Removel
Correct your spelling
Removal
this
highes
Correct your spelling
highest
leve
Correct your spelling
level
of
sugrer
Correct your spelling
sugar
replace it the less of sugar. in conclusion , it is evident that if the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
Actions have been taken crisis decreases of number the
people
Overweight the problems of heath
well
Correct your spelling
will
show examples
drop
also
People
's health will improver; replacing the harmful substance for
less
Add an article
a less
show examples
harmful substance
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
must ensure steps are taken to prevent
this
phenomenon from deteriorating future.
Submitted by abrar501otb on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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