many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree ?

#food #drink #product #level #sugar #health #products #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no doubt that There

days

Use synonyms

, products have a high level of sugars as the question is, Why the

manfacted

Correct your spelling

manufactured

the dwelling product and

ues

Correct your spelling

use

Quantitly

Correct your spelling

Quantity

significant of

sugre

Correct your spelling

sugar

?in

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to discuss both views and dram my

owm

Correct your spelling

own

opinion,in term problem in recent

days

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

become Overweight due to

this

Linking Words

product,

also

Linking Words

they have

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

problems

for example

Linking Words

ance.the main reason given to support

this

Linking Words

claim

Nevertheless

Linking Words

is that there are a lot of number

teengers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

the Overweight and they feel shy can

hungout

Correct your spelling

hung out

with there

firends

Correct your spelling

friends

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

the start drink and eat every sing

days

Use synonyms

that why they

gaimweight

Correct your spelling

gain weight

. To illustrate, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

people

Use synonyms

eat

Correct pronoun usage

who eat

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

prooblems

Correct your spelling

problems

problem

;Some

days

Use synonyms

peole

Correct your spelling

people

want deeply something

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

show examples

them

deighted

Correct your spelling

delighted

and

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

products Preservatives make the person Happy. in

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

world the

advertsing

Correct your spelling

advertising

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the human attraction

Linking Words

Change preposition

to this

show examples

this products

Change the determiner

this product

these products

show examples

specifically The way they

adverties

Correct your spelling

advertise

advertises

is tempting,

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

believe the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

on of

this

Linking Words

reason

shpuld

Correct your spelling

should

the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

step the

manfatued

Correct your spelling

manufactured

Firsity

Correct your spelling

Firstly

other hand

Change the wording

another hand

other hands

show examples

, should the work about product same quality; less the

sugre

Correct your spelling

sure

sugar

surge

Linking Words

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

they most to do in appearance gradually

Removel

Correct your spelling

Removal

this

Linking Words

highes

Correct your spelling

highest

leve

Correct your spelling

level

sugrer

Correct your spelling

sugar

replace it the less of sugar. in conclusion , it is evident that if the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

Actions have been taken crisis decreases of number the

people

Use synonyms

Overweight the problems of heath

well

Correct your spelling

will

show examples

drop

also

Linking Words

People

Use synonyms

's health will improver; replacing the harmful substance for

less

Add an article

a less

show examples

harmful substance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

Linking Words

phenomenon from deteriorating future.

Submitted by abrar501otb on Thu Jun 02 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

248 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some countries, the widespread use of the internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In some nations, the availability of the Internet has allowed individuals to work or attend school from the comfort of their own homes, eliminating the need for commuting to workplaces or colleges. While there are certainly advantages to this arrangement, this essay will argue that its disadvantages outweigh its benefits.
5
band
in some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.
Some people prefer to study in their own country university and living with their parents. Hence, In other states students desire to pick their field and study it in another city or even abroad far away from their house.
7
band
Living in a country where zou have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statement?
In today's world, the popularity of living abroad has rapidly increased. Many people want to live in another country but they face some serious problems. This essay agrees that living in a country where people have to speak foreign languages can lead to crucial troubles such as practical and cultural issues.
7.5
band
As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The relocation of firms from megacities to the countryside is often perceived as a prospective solution to the escalating complications of housing and transportation in municipal centres. Although this trend entails some inevitable challenges for the corporations involved, I would argue that the benefits for both the urban and rural populations are more substantial.
7
band
Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Due to the increasing environmental pollution largely caused by the use of vehicles for transportation, some individuals argue that raising fuel prices is an effective way to address this issue. Although I disagree with this viewpoint, I believe that the environment could benefit from alternative solutions.

many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In some countries, the widespread use of the internet has given people more freedom to work or study at home instead of traveling to work or college. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

in some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city.

Living in a country where zou have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statement?

As transport and accommodation problems are increasing in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?