many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree ?

#food #drink #product #level #sugar #health #products #people

There is no doubt that There

days

, products have a high level of sugars as the question is, Why the

manfacted

Correct your spelling

manufactured

the dwelling product and

ues

Correct your spelling

use

Quantitly

Correct your spelling

Quantity

significant of

sugre

Correct your spelling

sugar

?in

this

essay, I am going to discuss both views and dram my

owm

Correct your spelling

own

opinion,in term problem in recent

days

people

become Overweight due to

this

product,

also

they have

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

problems

for example

ance.the main reason given to support

this

claim

Nevertheless

is that there are a lot of number

teengers

Correct your spelling

teenagers

the Overweight and they feel shy can

hungout

Correct your spelling

hung out

with there

firends

Correct your spelling

friends

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

the start drink and eat every sing

days

that why they

gaimweight

Correct your spelling

gain weight

. To illustrate, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

people

eat

Correct pronoun usage

who eat

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

prooblems

Correct your spelling

problems

problem

;Some

days

peole

Correct your spelling

people

want deeply something

make

Fix the infinitive

to make

show examples

them

deighted

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delighted

and

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

products Preservatives make the person Happy. in

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

world the

advertsing

Correct your spelling

advertising

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

the human attraction

Change preposition

to this

show examples

this products

Change the determiner

this product

these products

show examples

specifically The way they

adverties

Correct your spelling

advertise

advertises

is tempting,

Moreover

, some

people

believe the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

on of

this

reason

shpuld

Correct your spelling

should

the

goverment

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government

step the

manfatued

Correct your spelling

manufactured

Firsity

Correct your spelling

Firstly

other hand

Change the wording

another hand

other hands

show examples

, should the work about product same quality; less the

sugre

Correct your spelling

sure

sugar

surge

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

they most to do in appearance gradually

Removel

Correct your spelling

Removal

this

highes

Correct your spelling

highest

leve

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level

sugrer

Correct your spelling

sugar

replace it the less of sugar. in conclusion , it is evident that if the

goverment

Correct your spelling

government

Actions have been taken crisis decreases of number the

people

Overweight the problems of heath

well

Correct your spelling

will

show examples

drop

also

People

's health will improver; replacing the harmful substance for

less

Add an article

a less

show examples

harmful substance

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

must ensure steps are taken to prevent

this

phenomenon from deteriorating future.

Submitted by abrar501otb on Thu Jun 02 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

248 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree ?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

several languages are in danger of extinct because they are spoken by very small number of people. some people say tgat governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe taht would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Creative artists should be permitted to express their ideas without any limitations. Do you agree or disagree?

Your telephone company made a mistake about sending your bill to a wrong address. Write a letter to the account manager to complain and explain what problems this caused and what you would like them to do

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Do you agree/disagree with this view?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion