Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?

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I strongly believe that the working
time
Use synonyms
balance is important to improve
employees
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' productivity. There were some cases of doing
work
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overwhelmingly, which
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
many troubles for both companies and
employees
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. The problems of
work
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hours
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have led to several
time
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management ideas,
therefore
Linking Words
, the most effective idea is to provide exercise
time
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during the
day
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. Doing
work
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overwhelmingly can
causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
losing
Verb problem
a loss
show examples
of
employees
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' productivity. To illustrate,
Mrs
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.
Putin
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has been sitting in front of the office computer for 10
hours
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straight a
day
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to finish his
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
Mrs
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. Z would
experiences
Wrong verb form
experience
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losing
Verb problem
a loss
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of motivation,
decreasing of
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
productivity,
chronic
Correct word choice
and chronic
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eyes
Change the noun form
eye
show examples
pain,
therefore
Linking Words
, the
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
will be done inefficiently despite
a
Correct article usage
the
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lot of
hours
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he
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
into his
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Vice versa,
Mrs
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.
Putout
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is
also
Linking Words
doing
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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for 10
hours
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a
day
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.
However
Linking Words
, his
company
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provides
employees
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a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
short
time
Use synonyms
break throughout the long office
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
.
Mrs
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.
Putout
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feels fine doing
work
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and
didn't
Wrong verb form
doesn't
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experience many problems like
Mrs
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.
Putin
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
Mrs
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.
Putout
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can
keeps
Change the verb form
keep
show examples
getting
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
done efficiently as compared to
Mrs
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.
Putin
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's
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Obviously,
Mrs
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.
Putout
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's
company
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is a better place to
work
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than
Mrs
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.
Putin
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's
company
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despite both companies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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having
exact
Add an article
the exact
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same amount of
work
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hours
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, providing exercise
time
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during the
day
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can make the
company
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a better place to
work
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. With better environmental conditions,
employees
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feel more relaxed and
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
able to keep their motivation, passion, and health remain high quality, not just quantity.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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