Some people think that companies should provide employees with exercise time during the day. What is your opinion about this?
I strongly believe that the working
time
balance is important to improve employees
' productivity. There were some cases of doing work
overwhelmingly, which cause
many troubles for both companies and Wrong verb form
caused
employees
. The problems of work
hours
have led to several time
management ideas, therefore
, the most effective idea is to provide exercise time
during the day
. Doing work
overwhelmingly can causes
Change the verb form
cause
losing
of Verb problem
a loss
employees
' productivity. To illustrate, Mrs
. Putin
has been sitting in front of the office computer for 10 hours
straight a day
to finish his works
. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Thus
Mrs
. Z would experiences
Wrong verb form
experience
losing
of motivation, Verb problem
a loss
decreasing of
productivity, Wrong verb form
decreased
chronic
Correct word choice
and chronic
eyes
pain, Change the noun form
eye
therefore
, the works
will be done inefficiently despite Fix the agreement mistake
work
a
lot of Correct article usage
the
hours
he put
into his Wrong verb form
puts
works
. Vice versa, Fix the agreement mistake
work
Mrs
. Putout
is also
doing many
Correct word choice
apply
works
for 10 Fix the agreement mistake
work
hours
a day
. However
, his company
provides employees
a
short Add the preposition
with a
time
break throughout the long office hour
. Fix the agreement mistake
hours
Mrs
. Putout
feels fine doing work
and didn't
experience many problems like Wrong verb form
doesn't
Mrs
. Putin
. Consequently
, Mrs
. Putout
can keeps
getting Change the verb form
keep
works
done efficiently as compared to Fix the agreement mistake
work
Mrs
. Putin
's works
. Obviously, Fix the agreement mistake
work
Mrs
. Putout
's company
is a better place to work
than Mrs
. Putin
's company
despite both companies are
having Unnecessary verb
apply
exact
same amount of Add an article
the exact
work
hours
. To sum up
, providing exercise time
during the day
can make the company
a better place to work
. With better environmental conditions, employees
feel more relaxed and be
able to keep their motivation, passion, and health remain high quality, not just quantity.Wrong verb form
are
Submitted by natitornix on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite