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Band 5.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
It is interestingly common among some food manufacturers to use
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 percentage of
sugar
 in their
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 because of that the rate of health problems
are
Change the verb form
are increasing
are increased
show examples
increase
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 the government make
wise
Correct article usage
a wise
show examples
 decision to
increase
 the price of
these product
Change the determiner
this product
these products
show examples
 maybe
this
 rate will be decreased . In my opinion
this methods
Change the determiner
this method
these methods
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 capable to convince
people
 to decline their demand. Nowadays some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
 countries face critical problems
about
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
 the health of their peoples and figure out
this obstacles
Change the determiner
this obstacle
these obstacles
show examples
 are based on
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 chain which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 lots of
sugar
 that
increase
 the percentage of fat , Diabetes,
cancer
Correct word choice
and cancer
show examples
 among them .In order to overcome
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 issues change the price of each
products
Change to a singular noun
product
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 which of them have
vast
Add an article
the vast
a vast
show examples
 majority of sugars . Despite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that
this
 is
one
 of the logical
method
Change to a plural noun
methods
show examples
, but have some negative effect in
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 part.
Firstly
, it has changed the national economy of
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Change the noun form
countries
show examples
such
 as GDP and GNP because you do
increase
 the API of main products of manufacturer
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 their
increase
 their items so the consequence is no balance between input and output of currency .
Secondly
 , when you omit the
one
 need of
people
 without any
second
 options ,
people
 again have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
 to buy those products.
One
 of the practical methods is that promote public awareness about the consequence of using
sugar
 on their body via different ways
such
 as social media ,
leaflet
Fix the agreement mistake
leaflets
show examples
 or
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the best solution is through official channels in education systems . if we have
optional
Add an article
an optional
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 in our school like elementary or high school about how we have
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 , it will be clear that in future most of our children will be intended to use nutrient food with our any sugars . In conclusion, to prevent
people
 from using
sugar
 in their daily life , it’s the best choice to prepare
one
 infrastructure to convince them about the consequence of using
sugar
instead
 of increasing the price .
Submitted by soliran95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
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