Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's study. On the contrary, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion?

#parents #computer #games #value #children #study #effects #development

In the new era, we are all aware that most of the

childeren

Correct your spelling

children

have addicted to

play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

computer

games

. Many parents complain

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that these

games

have no

possitive

Correct your spelling

positive

impact on children's mental or physical development. I am in favour of

this

statement. In terms of growing

with

Change preposition

up with

show examples

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

as a kid, they have the ability to use

Add an article

a computer

the computer

show examples

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

very well than their parents. The

computer

game industry is getting bigger and bigger depending on that high demand. We

all

Add a missing verb

are all

show examples

concern

Replace the word

concerned

show examples

about most of the

games

are not proper for children.

Therefore

, we should educate them about screen

time

and their choices. These

games

affect our little ones' mental and physical

health

in a bad way. They

also

spend their

time

studying

instead

of playing

games

Firstly

, in the terms of their mental

health

, If they spend more

time

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

front of the

computer

, it would be hard for them to distinguish what the reality is. They would assume that everything is virtual in real life as

computer

games

Secondly

, long hours

spending

Replace the word

spent

show examples

in front of the

computer

whereas

Correct word choice

while

show examples

playing

games

, they will not be active enough for their age. It is important for their physical

health

to stay active. They are young and their muscle and bones grow so fast

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

physical

health

starts with being active physically.

However

, there are some

games

that can teach some proper attitude and knowledge to children.

Therefore

we have to educate them about what they should pick and how much

time

they spend on a

computer

. At that point, we should be aware of their choices on

games

. In conclusion, there are millions of

games

on computers and as

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsible

parents

Correct the article-noun agreement

parent

show examples

, we should observe the

time

and pick the right

games

for our little ones for their physical and mental

health

Submitted by onayozge00 on Fri Jun 03 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?
It is a common thought that a provincial's accomplishment is measured by economic progress, others believe that there are other point that help a agrarian's achievement. In my opinion, there are many thing that bring accomplishment to a agrarian.
<4
band
In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
In some areas of the world, many citizens are getting curious to know about the past information and facts of their own residing home. It is because, people want to make sure if the house they are staying in doesn’t have any past history of crime or any negative experiences of the family who previously stayed there. To find the information the members of the family can look up to various online platforms or ask for among neighbours.
<4
band
Nowadays, animal experiments are widely used to develop new dedicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is probably wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of the benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this modern era, it is prominent that animals have been used in many laboratories to experiment the effectiveness of several new medicines as well as the safety of multi-purposed products. It raises the debate to whether these activities could cause detrimental harms to the wildlife and eventually lead to the prohibition of them. Meanwhile, proponents assure benefits of them on humanity. This essay will delve deeply into this nuance and lean over the former perspective.
7.5
band
The system used for rubbish or garbage collection in your local area is not working properly. It is causing problems for you and your neighbours. Write a letter to the local council. In your letter Describe how the rubbish collection system is not working Explain how this is affecting you and your neighbours Suggest what should be done about the problem
Hope this letter finds you in radiant health and the best of spirits. I am writing this letter with regards to garbage collection issue in our area. I am Dinesh from sector B. I live just near to the sector B bus stand.
7
band
It is usually important to agree or disagree with a certain fact or piece of information in opinion essays. Your argument must support one of two opposing views in the essay. Given below is an example of an IELTS Writing task 2 opinion essay. Let’s understand how to frame the essay from the ideas we have.
In this contemporary and sophisticated era, advertisements have had a determining role to play in orientation people's tastes and thoughts. This authoritative impact can possess some detrimental and unintentional consequences on society articles namely making them shopaholic. The logic behind my mind is that many of the merchandise that has been purchased were not our daily necessities and buying in the impression of media hype. In this essay, this claim will be expanded and demonstrated.

Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their children's study. On the contrary, those online games have produced a lot of negative effects on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?