IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The only way to improve road safety is to impose severe punishments for driving offences. Do you agree or disagree?

#road #safety #punishments #offences
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Nowadays, dealing with
development
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the development
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 of
roads’
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roads
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 safety has become a major problem worldwide. In some countries, severe punishments have
imposed
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been imposed
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 for driving offences.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that it is not the best solution to prevent
car
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 accidents on the roads. The effects of proper instruction, hardening the
test
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 of the driving license for fresh candidates, and increase
of
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apply
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roads’ quality might considerably have better results that will be discussed
through
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in
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following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nearly any driver needs to be instructed about driving techniques and different conditions of driving a
car
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 even though they have received a driving license. As an example, in Vancouver, which is famous for
low
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the low
a low
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 rate of
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car
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a car
the car
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accident
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accidents
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,
people
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 see instructions and alerts about safe driving nearly everywhere
such
Linking Words
 as
city
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in city
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 advertisements and television programs. In fact, the more we are aware of the danger of driving offences, the more carefully we drive on the roads.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
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well-instructed
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well instructed
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well-instructed
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people
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 drive concisely which will prevent them to experience
car
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accident
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accidents
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 on roads.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as the procedure of getting
driving
Correct article usage
a driving
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 license
get
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gets
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 harder,
people
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 with
high
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a high
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 ability of driving make it to pass the driving
test
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. Statistics reveal that after applying major changes in driving
test
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 fundamentals in Canada, the rate of
car
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 accidents declined in 1951. It’s clear that
,
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apply
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people
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 who have passed the
test
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 successfully would be
a
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apply
show examples
better
driver
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drivers
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 due to having more practical and harder tests. In conclusion, manipulating the procedures of driving exams and giving candidates more challenging
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 would be a proper solution which has shown its results formerly.
Finally
Linking Words
, old vehicles sometimes might be difficult to control. Based on police statistics, nearly 72
percent
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per cent
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 of
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car
Add an article
a car
the car
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 accident in 2021 was for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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automobiles
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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produced before 1995.
In other words
Linking Words
, drivers have more ability to control the vehicle in new-brand cars. To summarize, I believe that well instruction of
people
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, more challenging driving tests, and replacing old vehicles with new ones are the best solutions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 improving road safety. I believe that there would be better solutions in the future
such
Linking Words
 as
development
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the development
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 of cars with artificial intelligence,
Linking Words
however
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,however
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 currently we can not rely on
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
 and unexperimented ways.
Submitted by mehrad.aghaei on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deter
  • reckless behavior
  • psychological deterrence
  • adhere
  • penalties
  • awareness campaigns
  • knowledge and skills
  • technological solutions
  • advanced safety features
  • automatic braking systems
  • lane departure warnings
  • traffic surveillance
  • enforce laws
  • socio-economic impact
  • disproportionately
  • broader social issues
  • community engagement
  • road safety culture
  • collective responsibility
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