IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products .Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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School plays an important role in
children
Change noun form
children's
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 life ,It helps them grow physically and mentally ,but nowadays these
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 started promoting fast
food
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 because they are funded by
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
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supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 and
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
fast-food
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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,
this
Linking Words
 blind follow leads them toward blind well it affects their health , academic performance
decrease
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Firstly
Linking Words
 , it affects the health of
children's
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children
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. Most of the
scholare
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scholars
scholar
 are dependent on their elders for their growth , even they are immature to make a section from
bunz
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Bunz
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 of choices for
food
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 by promoting
non nutritious
Add a hyphen
non-nutritious
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food
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 their immunity power will
decrease
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 and they suffer from various diseases
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 ,
importance
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the importance
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 of healthy
food
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 will
decrease
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 when
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 body
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
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 promoting quick foods for their greediness of money , students will think that these foods are good for their health
This
Linking Words
 trend not only affects
performance
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the performance
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 of scholars ,
notion
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the notion
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 will
also
Linking Words
 pay for it , due to more and more youngsters
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
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 unhealthy
food
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 their academic performance will become poor , a survey was conducted by state bodies in order to examine the cause of bad academic results the reason was that consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
decrease
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 their scores because these foods wouldn't contain any
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 due to lack of
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
 their memory power is decreased At
Linking Words
last
Add a comma
,last
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 I conclude that
,
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apply
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these steps will push younger
genaration
Correct your spelling
generation
 toward
unknowing
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the unknowing
an unknowing
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 path,
becase
Correct your spelling
because
 they even don't know that they are propelled toward wrong path their future
wil
Correct your spelling
will
 be insane

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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