IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

What are the causes of crimes and what could be done to prevent this rise of criminal activities

Over the past few years,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 noticeable increase
of
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in
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 criminal actions has been shown in society.
This
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 essay will discuss the reason why these cases are rising as well as the suggestion of crime prevention which could be applied in every country. From my point of view, one of the main causes of
the
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apply
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criminal activities is the national economic situation. A number of previous studies showed that 80 per cent of the robbers revealed that they
Correct your spelling
hurt
hurted
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hurt
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 people with the intention to
take
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make
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money
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the money
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 and valuable accessories,
such
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 as expensive watches and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 mobile phones, which could be assumed that most of the cases are related to money issues.
For example
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, when the inflation rate in each country is higher, the merchants of the small business enterprises might be affected by the growth of
product
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production
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 costs as well as the dramatic drop
of
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in
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 the customers.
Therefore
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, some of them may decide to rob or steal things from others as a shortcut.
However
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, the Government of each country can avoid these possible criminal activities by issuing serious rules and regulations, including the specific punishment for
this
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 kind of event. It could be an arrest or a high rate fine for the criminals. If
this
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 information is reported through news programmes or social media, people will be aware and afraid of the consequences, which could possibly lead to
the
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a
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 decrease
of
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in
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 domestic crimes. In conclusion, criminality may happen because of uncontrollable reasons, yet all nations could protect their populations by applying
law
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laws
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 especially to punish the individual who is relevant to
such
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 harmful actions.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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